Llandaff – An Unexpected **** Mecca

Llandaff is an outwardly genteel suburb of Cardiff; in fact it is a cathedral city in its own right, boasting rather fancy houses, a village green and a ruined castle. Before moving there for university last year, i didn’t think a single **** lived in the area. I still don’t. But bizarrely, young ***** from the valleys seem to gravitate to the place.

I first discovered this one evening when I and several friends were on our way to the local spar (classic **** hangout ANYWHERE) and were accosted by a group of 13 year old girls, who followed us the whole way shouting choice cardiff **** lingo. We were, frankly, afraid to leave the safe haven of spar, and when we finally did we found them waiting for us. One of my companions was greeted with the charming phrase of “oi, you again, MR ****!”.

Since then, i have been lucky enough to have many encounters with non-native ***** in Llandaff. For example, the gang of boy ***** who informed us they’d travelled in from Taffs Well (WHY?! there is nothing to do in Llandaff for a young ****!), persuaded us (I don’t know how) to get them vodka from spar and then tried to ‘start’ on my male friends. lovely. Or the time I was asked (well, shouted at) by some young *****, blind drunk at 2pm, which way to go to get to merthyr… Some of my female friends had cans of paint from a skip chucked at them by another friendly **** clan. Even some of the posh private school kids who come to school in Llandaff have exhibited minor **** tendencies!

Having lived in Kingswood, Bristol for the first years of my life, very close to Weston-“Brummie-****-Paradise”-Super-Mare for most of it, and spent a good deal of time in Pontypridd, its been quite a shock to experience the most aggressively ****** evil behaviour in posh Llandaff. Maybe they’re just lost.


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