I was shocked not to find Haverhill on Chavtowns until I realised the entire population of it are ****’s. It was my greatest misfortune to work there for a while. What with the smell of the flavours and fragrance factory, the Lard production plant and the dodgy sewerage works (that often flood the **** garden, LMAO) It is a true “New Town” delight! The average **** car has more money in light kits than the car cost and drives round late at night booming chavtunes that make you think your engine is about to explode until you realise (just too late) it is behind you in the never ending roadworks traffic jam! If you ever have to drive through at night beware, as you will need to return to pick up your singed retina’s after passing the **** illuminations mobile. Also beware walking on the pavements, they get a bit slippy from the knuckle draggers skin and the women are the ones with the most tattoo’s.
Best places for **** spotting are the chippy/kebab/burger/any roadkill going shops or parading at speed the rust ******** mobile lighthouses.
Ps I asked one ******** if she was going with her partner the reply was classic “I ain’t in ****** bisness, I’m going wiv me ****** bloke, in I”