(808 crimes in May 2022)
Lower Caversham, Reading
(779 crimes in May 2022)
Grand Union Canal, Slough
(712 crimes in May 2022)
Coley, Reading
(598 crimes in May 2022)
Manor Park, Britwell
(547 crimes in May 2022)
Salt Hill, Slough
(492 crimes in May 2022)
Caversham, Reading
(420 crimes in May 2022)
Foudry Brook, Reading
(362 crimes in May 2022)
Harmans Water, Easthampstead
(351 crimes in May 2022)
(350 crimes in Jun 2022)


This place is a **** hole. From the high street crammed with every chain pub you could imagine to the high street being filled with blokes with their shirts off as soon as the sun shines. Take Primark for example. A huge **** filled “I can buy a shirt innit for £5.00. Vats worf it […]

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Slough – come friendly bombs

John Betjeman had the right idea. But not even in his wildest nightmares could he envisage the gold-plated, Currys Superstore-********, professional Ali G-bedevilled monster that Slough would become. Slough is the worst of all worlds. A peasant overspill from the East End after the Second World War, which fills the Orwellian netherworlds that are Britwell […]

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_Amid the housing estates in this relatively nice district, a disturbing scurry of thieving identical appearing **** survives and breeds. A nuclear war can’t destroy the ****** you know! There is a little shopping parade where they all surface and congregate in order to drink cans of rat-lager, shout rat-talk and to indulge in rat-spitting […]

Read More… from Sandhurst


Bracknell is a teenage mothers dream, with 90% of them “*******” at Macie D’s down the bottom of the highstreet. If your into car modding there is a large branch of halfords near the run down, **** filled cinema which, like wokingham has a fist bowl! The Bridge pub in brackers is the place to […]

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Welcome to Bracknell, just outside of London. A small, narrow-minded and utterly pointless provincial dustbin. A mass construction of ugly grubby council estates and tacky chain shops. Watch the pathetic little ******* **** each other senseless through boredom after 11.30pm when the pubs chuck them all out. Key spots include outside The Point, at the […]

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i am surprised you havent already included Slough, as it is the most ********* town in the west! ok, so not west, as it is in the south east. anyways. Slough is a hugely ****** town where all the ***** tend to congregate on a weekend down Queensmere where they like to ‘go high street’, […]

Read More… from Slough aka SLAAAAAAAAA!


a pesudo-posh market town which is actually a fertile breeding ground for chavdom. **** spotters from far and wide flock to First Bowl (fondly known as Fist Bowl by those in the know) to study ***** aged 15-21 in their natural environment – Ibiza hard house and plenty of pills and cheap lager. Wokingham is […]

Read More… from Wokingham