Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

Seems to me that Reading is the capital of chavdom with only Hemel seemingly worse. The area i am moving from (Tilehurst) has chavs a plenty scabbing round the off licence and round the bins. I even found the mail plundered from the postbox and scattered around. So much so i am selling up after seeing chavs everyday. I’m sick of the sight of them. What do they represent?

Here they are everywhere. I believe the council breeds them on a staple diet of burgers filled with more chemicals than ICI, a share of the benefits from all our taxes rather than going on hospitals and people’s welfare it goes on funding these tadpoles shopping mall activities. This is a national disease and conscription and curfews are needed.

Reading is infested with the rodents and everywhere you go chavs are there making you feel uncomfortable. They are in the malls with their chavettes, at the bus shelter and even in the refuse looking for your identity.

Reading has failed and is not the cosmopolitan hub town it yearns to be. Even an estate agent described it as a market town that has got too big. There’s only one thing this place is and thats Chavsville UK!!


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

There isn’t just one place, where the chavs hang out here – they are literally everywhere!!!! At the train station, park, shops EVERYWHERE….you can’t get away from them. My friends and I were just sitting waiting for the train and a group of mini-chavs (they must have been about 10 or 11) started swearing at us and we overheard them talking about a baby blue tracksuit that they have (all-in-one) as well as the pink one she was wearing at the time – a mathcing one to that!! Also the young girl chavette was pregnant!!!!They just litter the streets in reading – so you should visit so time to experience it yourself!!!


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

Everyone has done such a damn fine job on Reading it is difficult to try and live up to their precedent but I shall do my best.

My name says it all, never in my short 21 years on this earth have I been so thoroughly disgusted with a place. I have been to Brooklyn and the Bronx, Leeds, Wigan and Manchester and nothing compares to the filth that malingers in Reading.

Reading is a filthy amalgamation of ‘classy’chain stores, pubs and restaurants, disgruntled yoffs and chavs. The centre of town is decorated with two vastly different shopping centres yet both equally filled with scent of vanilla impulse, diamond white and lambert and trisha. If you had no sense of smell you would be alerted to the presence of chavs by using your eyes and ears, burberry and la coq sportif adorn every other head in Reading and even Stevie Wonder could not mistake the familiar yet unsettling sound of “Oi Tyrone share that friggin panda pop wi’ Charmaine!! Ya little gobshite!” or “Donna come fuckin back here ya slag, ill gi ya anuvva black eye to match the one you got off me bruvva last night”… SIGH.

Sadly no signs of change have appeared yet and unless something drastic is done i.e. arsenic in diamond white or rat poison in the old McDonalds BSE burger, I can not see the situation improving.

For me the prognosis is good, I get to leave this godforsaken place in July and never come back but alas for the poor unfortunates that reside here year round I am afraid I must give you a bleak outlook.

Here is how bad Reading is: I actually look forward to going home to Nottingham….*leaves a moment for that statement to take effect*

In the words of the timeless song: “burn mother fucker burn”
Someone needs to napalm this place and put all these unfortunate sods out of their misery.


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

Yeah, well, what can I say? I moved to Reading earlier this year and it really is Chav Central. I’ve been sailing the Sea of Burberry ever since. Argos and Primark seem to be the quintessential Chav locations in Reading, and the Oracle (think Stevenage under a roof) is heaven to them. Even on the local radio station “Two Ten FM”, there is no escape, with every show staffed by stupendously Moronic Morons (I give special mention to Graham Torrington on “Late Night Love” (A really crap version of the Sunday Surgery, where Chavs phone in with their (numerous) problems)-you’re not cool, or clever. Go home.)
Continue reading “Reading” »


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

Caversham…The chav centre of Reading!
I am ashamed to admit that i have had the misfortune of living in thishit hole for a year and a half. And although that may not seem long, it is a year and a half i would rather forget!
Being a ‘Woodleyite’ myself and being born and raised in Reading, i thought i new what to expect… oh how i was wrong!
The first week i moved in i was followed by a group of boys no older than 12 wanting to chat up me and my best mate. Although their best line was ‘oit luv, wassup?’
The worst part of living in Chaversham was the fact that i was dumped right next door to The Star. This is the breeding place for all teenage mums, nd there insestious kids! Your typical Kapper Slapper is also present here. Along with your RUDE BOIS and PIKIES! Going to the local aldays shop (which was hardly ever stocked due to the fact all the little shits had robbed the place so many times) was also an experience. Not only could u buy your Lambrini and soveriegn but you also got a black eye and slashed tyres thrown in free. The ‘lower chaversam massive’ are infact outcasts of the ‘reading massive’. Wannabe thugs who wouldnt stand a chance if there dared to venture into the likes of Whitley, tilhurst, or even Woodley nowadays. However the real place to see this ‘Chavs’ in all their glory is either the Broad Street Mall, although outdated it is easy to rob, and has the best range of shops! Everything from, TKMAXX-half price jewellers. If you are ever in there on a Saturday and wonder how you have been blessed to find the place chav free then you will find that this is the day when chavs from all over the city come together to represent our town in all its glorious chav form at the MAD STAD. Although am a LOYAL ROYAL and love reading football club, i do actually know the offside rule, whereas these pikies i doubt can even name you a player, as all there time is spent throwing abuse at the opposing fans! The local dress here is split into catergaries
1)the p***e/townie/rude boi/chav-their clothing consists of trakie bottems (tucked into socks of course) nickolson shirts, mackenzie hoodies, burberry hats, and think gold chains. You will also here the lines ‘wha ya lkn a’ (what are you looking at) and ‘safe bruv’ being ‘chatted’ alot.
2)the grebbo/goth/grunger- Clothing consisting of, baggy jeans half way round their ankles,Black hoodies, with the words SLIPKNOT, KORN or GREENDAY emblazed across the front, these will usually have long gressy black hair. You wont hear them talk often as they are usually to busy advoiding getting beating by the chavs!
3)the normal people-clothing being nothing of the extreme. These people are very few and far between throughout Reading and its surrounding areas, so if you do manage to see one, pinch yourself to check your not dreaming then go up and ask them what the f**k their still doing there?!
Local places to be weary of is ‘Mandella’. I will say no more. Whitley wood, the birthplace of all the diseased scum of Reading, tilhurst, the overflow carpark of Whitley. And basically the whole of Reading its self. with very few exceptions. My birth place is Woodley, and although i love the place i will be the first to admit that its also turned into chav central. Sandford Park, FASTRAK, southlake, are to be advoided after dark. But the one to steer clear of at ALL times is of course.Drovers Way. (and all conecting roads (hern road in particular)). This is the mother of all s**t holes, where bad seeps through the walls of the council houses like the blood seeping from the wounds of its last poor victim. I spent 17 years just a stones throw from this place, so unless you have a death wish DO NOT VISIT.
However all in all Woodley is a beautiful place, and its wildlife, of chavs, pikies, townies, and all together twats are most interesting, a must for all suicidal idiots.


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

Tilehurst, Emmer Green, Whitley, Woodley
Continue reading “Reading” »


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

I have lived in Reading for 11 years now and my experience of chavs has been wide and frequent.

In the ‘Golden Age’ of the Spice Girls, it was ‘cool’ to dress like sporty spice and to my knowledge this was not only acceptable but fashionable. This phase passed and in my young innocence, I presumed that everyone had got over this craze. How wrong I was.

Some time passed and I started at a secondary school. It could be said that I was somewhat sheltered at my all girls grammar school from the epidemic that occurred in the following years.

My friends and I became more and more aware of the scum breeding in our town. They started off being labelled trendies. This then progressed to townies or rudeboys. We then discovered that there was a new class of townie, the p***y or chav. These not only had the unmistakeable dress sense, but the thieving habits and unstoppable attitude problems to match.

They seem to congregate in the dated ‘Broad Street Mall’ where there is a Mark One, New Look, tk maxx, Virgin Megastores and a dodgey market outside: all in all, chav heaven. They are never seen in groups smaller than 4, presumably because should they feel the need to defend themselves, they would need 4 times the brain power.

It is true that the majority of chavs that I see are under the age of 18, but sadly the chav culture does not stop at this age. White van drivers are common in my area, and their natural reaction to any sign of female lifeform is to beep their horn, lean out of the passenger window and shout. The noise they make can only be descibed as oooiiiit baaaaiii which presumable means ‘alright babe?’

There are 2 main types of townie in Reading:
– those from the council estates and ‘ghetto’ culture (and proud) who tend to wear cheap sports brands, less bling and more 59p-from-superdrug gel.
– Those from the leafy suburbs who pretend they are from the ‘ghetto’ whose mummy and daddy buy them the more expensive, clean sports gear, who drip in ‘ice’ and bling, who can afford a nice new vw golf, but instead buy a vauxhall astra and ‘beef it up’.
The latter type also tend to go around on expensive bikes, or oh-so-macho electric scooters.

So far I have mainly talked about the male chav. The female ones are equally common and who I tend to hear on the buses, mouthing off about who dumped who and what shaznay said about tash. The two halves of the chav population come together at valentines day and other special events for an under 18s foam party aka meat-market-disco-with-bubble-machine.

The female of the scum species is the most verbally aggressive and ‘bitchy’ of them all. Common phrases are ‘what ya lookin at’ ‘hullaahh!’ (used if an insult is supposedly touche) ‘shup’ (abbreviation of shut up) ‘waeva’ (abbreviation of whatever)

She will wear ridiculosly tight jeans (regardless of how flattering/unflattering this is) with ‘booty’ or ‘playboy’ or a similarly unsavoury slogan across the rear. No matter how cold the weather gets, she will always wear a skimpy top into town, occasionally with a lovely parka or puffa jacket over the top.

Her hair will be greasy looking. It will most lokely be in a high pony tail to one side, with tendrils of hair left out. What is done with the tendrils varies: they can either be made into ringlets and gelled, curled around in front of the ear and gelled, orstuck across the forehead with gel in some way. If her hair moves due to wind etc, she has failed.

Chavs tend to congregate in Reading town centre (an area of low concentration – not many of them live in Reading itself) from areas of high concentration eg. caversham, whitley (suburbs) or nearby wokingham (a strong contender for chavville status).


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

This place is a s**t hole. From the high street crammed with every chain pub you could imagine to the high street being filled with blokes with their shirts off as soon as the sun shines.

Take Primark for example. A huge chav filled “I can buy a shirt innit for £5.00. Vats worf it innit”, Town centre has two “Maccy D’s”, “Two Burger Kings” all filled with tossers who wouldn’t know a vitamin if it came up and called them scum. Obligatory TK Max, JB Sports, TopShop and Argos. There is even a jewelry shop that sells empty rings to place your own coins into, w*****s.

A Pet Smart where the staff have so many sovereign rings they can hardly use the tills. Thank the lord for barcode readers otherwise you would never be able to get out. Oh yes and right next to one of the THREE halfords in Reading. We have more Novas, Corsa’s, well anything you can get a big bore exhaust onto. Don’t forget some blue washer jets. Why oh why does a Burberry wearing p***y think it is cool to have green but under car neons on a brown Rover 25 – AND NOTHING ELSE

Reading’s theme tune (to Shopping by the petshop boys)
“We’re C H A V I N G, we’re chaving!!”