Well…where to start! If you’ve ever been to Nottingham you’ll know where to get pregnant if ur female and as young as 13, and where to learn how to walk with a limp, suck ur teeth and shout ‘wha thah fukkk ya lukin aaaa?’! But if you really want to go one better than everyone else, you must visit Broxtowe (only if u wanna get an std, shot, mugged or flee invested)! You can probably hear broxtowe when u enter the city due to the amount of police sirens round there or jus cos of the modded ‘Nova’ with a 15 inch exhaust that your local ‘broxtowefarian'(as they call themselves) is ‘raggin’ down the street! You walk on broxtowe park; the local sest pit, 13yr old mums n the local ‘gangsta’ getting hot n heavy up a tree or even on the field in open view of everyone, your random 10yr driving a car that his 17yr dad just ‘teefed’ from his next door neighbour or even his own dad. You see gangs of the local girls; the usual sight, hair glued to their head coming down 1 side if their face, terrible acne, and the whole of the local co-ops make up aisle on their face, not to mention the earrings that have ‘*****’ wrote through the middle and scraggy t-shirts reading ‘von *****’, ‘this ***** bites’, and all the local drab you can get from the shop lifter that pays all ‘rich broxtowefarians’ a visit (these are the ones working and claiming benefits < we pay taxes for these twats) and sell them the clothes they stole from shops in Nottingham city centre! Fair enough clothes are clothes i hear you say, but if you look at the way these people portray fashion...its just down right rude. Joggers with ***** or **** across the back aren't exactly appetising to normal human beings!
Broxtowe holds most of the usual **** ammenties the local co-op, off licences to get ’nuff’ cider and get p*ssed up on the local park off one mouthful, couple of pubs (under 21s only: must have a kid and have a gold tooth to get in) and local parks that have been vandalised very badly. Unfortunately broxtowe doesn’t have a McDonalds or KFC so the *****/********* have to settle for the local chippy n greggs! If they are really lucky the local gangster **** in his ‘modded’ nova will go to Mcdonalds in nearby Bulwell and go through drive through n order some grub!
As i’m sat here trying to eat my dinner im starting to feel violently sick and think that i should end my little story about broxtowe their…jus for the time being! I hope you all decide to avoid this place. If you do have to go into this area (emergencies only) be careful, carry armor, put up the windows and drive through very quickly not stopping for anything. Like in Resident Evil if one of these broxtowe *****/********* bites you…you’re fucked! Have fun and remember ***** are bad. Until next time…Goodbye x
Your Law abiding Citizen Notts Princess x