Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom

Ascot when you watch the races you think to yourself “ooooooo isn’t that nice” but aside in the real world in the REAL ascot you will find it stretches the definite boundry of chav breeding ground to chav infested apart from race days everyday is a Chav day in ascot at first you think it’s some sort of parade at 12 at night that no-ones told you about but then you go outside your home to find about 50 drunk chavs sprawling down the street singing chav songs like “is it is it wicked we’re lovin it…” but all though these chavs just provide amusement for the rest of society on the high street its an ugly story else where if you try to walk down Fernbank road from 7 – 9 pm you will surely be a) hurled abuse at from a chav no taller then grandma’s walking stick, b) asked “got a fag mate innit” in which this will lead to your demise because you will find if you give one chav a “fag” 5 billion other chavs suddenly appear and ask for a “fag” but if you say no and/or you don’t smoke you will soon be told “na mate your lying innit you ‘ave got fags give me one or i’ll ‘it you” in which case you walk away to find the chavs older brother, mother, dad and any other chav spawn following you down fernbank road telling you that you hit there son c) almost runover by supposed “boyracers” in stolen ford fiesta populars .
The 2nd worst place to be is Goaters road park between 9-12pm this is where you will find the so called “rebels” who will be dealing drugs, taking drugs and trying to woo the chavettes who are about 11 and they are about 19 if your lucky enough and it’s mating season when you walk in to goaters road park you may survive unscathed .
The worst place to go in the whole of ascot is south ascot A) a chav breeding ground, B) loadsa of chavs off there rocker 24/7 C) the chav children never appear to be at school, if you ever have to walk through south ascot you are advised to take these common procedures 1. hide all riches, yes you will be mugged for a Nokia 5110 2. avoid eye contact, all the chavs in the area will unite and form an assault on you with there dads involved too 3.never walk alone, chavs will see you as an easy target to mug, brutalise or ask for a fag
4.don’t stop to look at the pretty Hyns restaurant the chavs are only a few yards away and can your wallet wrangling around in your pocket 5.last but not least if you encounter a chav runaway, if you hit one you hit them all and they will come back in numbers.
Remember to try keep safe in ascot and if worse comes to worse downgrade yourself and pretend to be a chav