Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom

The history of the scally is one shrouded in a veil of secrecy. Created by in the 1980s by secret government experiments to create a new lower class of society the scally escaped from the laboritarys and assimilated into the population. In the last five years due to global warming, pollution and JJBs they have multiplyed exponentially. With record numbers of sightings the evidence suggusts thy are multplying into every town centre and bus stop in the country.

a FARs scally montoring team has spent the last 6 months covertly surveying the life of the scally there results were startling.

THE LIFE OF THE COMMAN SCALLY ‘scalleious scumous’
Existing on a diet of superkings,cheap cider,poppers and glue these brightly clothed human wasps swarm together over an area in large numbers,territiory is marked by the scribbling on walls of tribe symbols. This behaviur can be explained by the exact gentic match of the comman scally and the caveman of the neolithic times whos cave paintings are remarkably simliar.

While normal peoples behaviour changes with time age does not affect the behaviour of the scally. Mothers will happily throw stones at buses with there children. Scally men,when not fighting each other like nothing more than to fill their gardens with as much scrap metal as possible to gain the utimate scally accolade as a ‘top geezer innit’. These competitve ‘scrap wars’ oten end in fatalities. Every scallys utimate dream is to get lucky on the scractch cards, which will enable a legitmate pilgimage to the holy mecca of the local jjb clothes store.
All scallys are instantly recognisable by there clothing,which consists entirely of flammable man made materials adorned with addidos or reebook logos. the female scally will often accessorise this with fake luis vitton and gucci bags brought back from turkey by ‘knock off dave’ ‘cos hes sound innit’. All scallys jewellery is exclusively Argos, the lead in there soveregn rings is highly addictive when absorped into the blood.

Their low intellgience,sophistication and lifespan mean the scally is an creature hoplessly more stupid than your average person.There idoicy is often laughable. however in recent years the scally has developed increasingly increasingly violent tendancies, atacking anyone of higher intellgience and style (i.e. the rest of the population)in groups outnubering there victims by a minimum ratio of 5:1.

Our FAR study found that students, with the most intelligence and style in country are the scallys utimate nemisis. Attacks on students by scallys has been increasing and unless action is taken soon the consequences could be catosphopic. reports of scally colonys in Spain, Italy and Outer Mongolia mean that if allowed to multiply there could be a scallies in every bus stop, park, town centre and KFC IN THE WORLD

we at FAR believe that the time to sit back is no more.immediante action must be taken against these nylon clad freaks of human nature and FAR needs your help. Only by understading the scally can they be iradicated. Your donated money could build a state of the art facililty where captured scallys can be studyed and experiemnted on. Your money will also fund the extensive alcohol treatment to FARs research squad who daily put there lives at risk in the field operating in one of the worst scally infected areas of England……Hounslow

FAR needs to get to the root of the issue. FAR needs your money today. donate just £5 a week and you can fund the capture of two scallys, pay for the equipment needed for our facility, or feed the facilities scllys for a whole year…u choose what ure money is used for.

Remember next time u walk home, get on a bus or go outside you could become the victim of an unprovoked scally attack.please help us eradicate this plague from our streets. your money can make a differernce.

p.s. Specimens are reqirued so if you know of any prime scallys (male and female) please let us know. and a FAR team will be dispatched to apprenhend them dead or alive.

please send all monies to
the chairman of the federation against resits
sam el-grew
new medlock house
chester street
manchester mi5 6jx