When buying our property in Stoneleigh, the estate agent bragged that “it’s such a nice place to live because there are no council flats here.” That pretty much sums up the attitude of the residents; working class folk who somehow think that they’ve “made it” and are holier than thou because they’re living in Stoneleigh.
Walk along the other side of Stoneleigh Broadway and marvel at the posters in every window, protesting the proposal of a new block of flats because, heaven forbid, we might get some “council ****” moving into the area! Of course, they claim the new building will detract from the beauty of/current buildings in the area, but we all know that the residents of Stoneleigh are petrified that the new build might include social housing, thus wrecking their self-perceived image of Stoneleigh being “posh!”
Walk along any residential road of an evening and be greeted by the whiff of weed from every other house; walk along by day and be greeted by the screams of abuse from bored, retired (or middle-aged housewife) Karens, shouting racist comments from their top window or driving past and yelling such delights as “p***!” at you as you innocently walk to the local shops. Kinda puts you off supporting local businesses in favour of the larger, out of town supermarkets.
Expect the police to be called on you at every opportunity, e.g. Sitting in your parked car, a scared resident will call the police who will arrive to interrogate you as to whether or not you plan on burgling said neighbour’s house. Never mind the well-known fact that teenagers are regularly using electronic devices to enter your car and help themselves to whatever is in there. Call the police then and no one will turn up. Check out local Facebook groups and everyone talks about this, as the crime rate in Stoneleigh has continued to rise since the implementation of the street lights being switched off at midnight.
Epsom: the not-so-salubrious suburb
Hinchley Wood (Clarkson was right)
West Byfleet, a town dominated by rich middle class snobs
Woking: good train links to London apart from that it’s a sh*thole
Weybridge: a quaint commuter belt town, ruined!
Redhill is an incestuous breeding ground for God’s mistakes
Farnham – Surrey’s snootiest town
Staines, the town that died of shame
Stoneleigh: residents ought to be stoned!