St Andrews – Such a lovely town, if you are tourist or student that is…

So St Andrews, the home of Golf, a prestigious University – on the face of it lovely. Beautiful beaches, nice walks – outwith the town. Tourists, School kids, pensioners and the locals (who resemble Zombies) squeeze in to the three main streets and get pavement rage at each other. An array of people who are ‘unable to work’ walk the streets talking about their next holiday and how they have managed to decorate their houses to show home standard.

There is zero nightlife for your average Joe who doesn’t fit in with the zombies, students or Golfers. A couple of Social and Sports club will give you a warm welcome – if your zombie face fits. Please if you do not like someone don’t tell ANYONE as the chances are they will be related to them.

If you live in the local Council estate like I do please do not expect to fit in, and if you are wronged in any way please don’t expect an apology its how the Zombies work. If you moved here feeling sane and having faith in the human race that will go out the window. Of course if you can afford a one bedroom flat at a nearly a grand a month overlooking the sea then it might be more idyllic for you. People often say to me, “oh you are from St Andrews, you must be posh?”, to which I reply, “I’ll tell the jokes!”

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