Kelty is full of dirty auld alkys

Living in Kelty, Fife, Scotland
Living in Kelty, Fife, Scotland

Kelty is full of dirty auld alkys

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Kelty, the former largest mining village situated on the Kinross to Fife border, is full of dirty auld alkys with no prospects in life followed by there even bigger alky children who always end up preggers by the time they’re 20 with a fitbaw team. The drug problems in the village are at an all time high and is so bad, dealers stand right outside the no1 goth to ply their trade and that’s just the bottom half. Once you get up to the tap end at Blackhall Square, you will always be met by the local neds. They range from 13 to 30 year olds, standing outside Costcutters oot their face on magic and eckys, setting wheelie bins or prams on fire, looking for anyone so off their face with the Buckfast, that they’ll happily go into the shop to buy for them.

There’s also the tin bridge leading onto Blairadam Wood, which has also been ruined by fires. We did have a shelter also down the quarry, but that had to be demolished after gangs of youths smashed so many bottles it was a hazard to dogs. Then you’ll walk up Loch Leven Terrace to the sight eh stinky wee bairns runnin amok trying tae kick or steal from you or a young smack head lying on the the pavement prostituting themselves for a fix. There is also a massive problem with the dirty jakes stealing from old men and women.

The good places in this village are really good, but the bad places need bulldozed to the ground, nuked, shat oan and then the rubble buried so no one can ever find it. The worst streets are Loch Leven Terrace part of Centre Street, Netherton Gardens, Blackhall Square and part of Keltyhill Crescent. Without them, Kelty would not be a bad place to live.


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