Ferryhill: The trains speed up as they pass through

Living in Ferryhill, County Durham
Living in Ferryhill, County Durham

Ferryhill: The trains speed up as they pass through

DurhamNorth EastOpinionSatirePic Via

Ferryhill, a once thriving mining village had (at some point in its history) the longest recorded railway platform in the world! Sadly these days the trains speed up as they pass through… presumably commuters experience something akin to Jurassic Park as they pass by. Only with wasted yokels taking the place of velociraptors. Those few remaining dignified and sane folks yearn for that long platform once more, in forlorn hope of getting out of the place.

There are some plus points; residents can sample a taste of cholesterol from every continent from the numerous takeaways. An entire house can be furnished at minimal expense from local bargain stores and charity shops. Those hard to source goods can often be picked up at the local refuse dump, which the local council have handily relocated and labelled a ‘traditional market’. The local library can be accessed on a strictly part-time basis, whilst vape liquids, tattoos and other specialist smoking products can be had 24h per day.

Outsiders looking to move to the area can be assured of a unique welcome; often locals will go out of their way to carry your belongings and show keen interest in your home security.

How grim is your Postcode?

Young people are especially well catered for; anyone attending the local secondary school can be assured that they will fully understand the concept of irony after spending their formative years in a ‘Business and Enterprise College’. Ferryhill… where business is measured in ounces, and enterprise is a sidestep to avoid a dog ****. What’s not to love??

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021
Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021