Living in Hatfield
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in East Anglia, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom

Take the average new town. Kick it about a bit, remove all the leisure amenities, close the schools, shut down the local industry…..here’s one we made earlier!

Modern Hatfield came into creation during the slum clearances at the end of the war. Large numbers of London’s east end scum were shipped ‘out to the sticks’ in a horribly misguided anit-social experiment. For the next 55 years the towns immoral majority spent their days taking drugs, meeting out unprovoked beatings and underage pregnancies while awaiting the invention of the baseball cap.

A high point in Chav related violence was achieved the early 90’s with the closure of all of the town centre’s pubs.

There are factors that make Hatfield’s Chavs a cut above the average.

  1. Breeding: At only 12 years a generation we’ve got 6 generations of Chav in the same town at the same time.
  2. Environment: Hatfield is a hole. It was disgusting when it was built and it’s got worse every day since.
  3. Heroin: Our Chavs are just that little more desperate for a quick buck, a little quicker to attack the passer by, just that bit more scum than the average chav.

Hatfield has no amenities beyond a swimming pool, a bingo hall and pubs you don’t want to go to. “What about The Galleria?” I hear you say. “Shops cinema, fast food all under one roof”. But the Gallaria isn’t really in Hatfield, it’s a recent addition bolted on to one edge of the town. A dog turd with a lolly stick in it, is no more appetising than a plain tog turd, and so it is with the ‘Hatfield Galleria’.