Right then, where to begin. By being neatly situated in the **** end of nowhere so we get the **** from the outlying villages rolling in (Stoke, Martock, Tintinhull, im looking at you all) and by being a town where all there is to do is grow old and by cheap cider, its a perfect place for **** to flourish.
It’s hard to put your finger on exactly whats wrong with Yeovil, but it’s fair to say its all gone to ****, just glancing at the local papers “Man beaten with own crutch”, “11 year old glassed in the face,” it just makes you morbidly depressed when you open the curtains and realise you still live in Yeovil. Ive been called a filthy **** and had eggs thrown at me just for trying to walk past a group of them, weird thing is that no-one is surprised by it any more. I found three of them near paralytic at the bus station just after midday, it’s a classy place, but this has been an issue for so long that its just accepted as “the yeovil way”.
It’s a problem that doesn’t look like being solved anytime soon either, over christmas there was a police drive to stop large gangs of them forming over the St Johns side of town, and all things considered it was a resounding success, but the drive was stopped midway through January, and now i’m “proud” to say that the problems back. It’s not as if there are problems relatively confined to one place, it seems to be all over the town, Westfield, Abbey Manor, College Green, Goldcroft, West Hendford, Chelston Avenue, Southville, Hendford, Cavalier Way not forgetting to mention all of the town centre (notably the beach) and every single park and patch of green in this god forsaken hell hole. Quite a reasonable plan is to wait for Sportsworld to reach its busiest, lock the doors, let them fight it out then call it natural selection.
The Yeovil gene pool needs a little chlorine.
Yeovil – Jewel of the **** Crown
Sherborne, a hideously deranged town that looks great from afar
Chard: The town where the garbage men make deliveries
Yeovil, Chavtopia ten years later- the final chavter
Wiveliscombe: sh*te rolled down hill and collected in one glorious cesspit
Bridgwater: like an open cesspit, the thickest sh*ts tend to accumulate here
Minehead, Grockels come to here to paddle their hairy toes in the sea
Bath, Somerset – needs a good clean!
Frome: Trapped in Vegan Hell