Imagine – a small, slumbering town in the heart Somerset where one can commune with nature and lead a peaceful life…..Dream on!
Yeovil is truly Chavtopia: an unending parade of scrotey, scrawnly little upstarts with their nine ninety nine Argos bling, their shell suits, trainers and whining Janner accents.
Chief Chav mill is the unfortunate Buckler’s Mead secondary school, lovingly nestling in the crotch of Yeovil’s skankiest scabbiest council estates.
Each morning, the chavs weave their way up St John’s Road and St Michael’s Avenue and stiby road. Scattering debris like no tomorrow and having a quick fag before the “rigors” of the school day. And each morning, the dwindling population of the school who are not scraping the shallow end of the chav gene pool must once again run the gauntlet of the chavviest behaviour of the face of God’s Earth.
From a teacher’s perspective, the vast majority went past caring at least five years ago and now are ticking off the days until their retirement (I have allegedly actually seen this done).
Chav behaviour is cranked up to the max during lesson time as the fight to spread the words of Shakespeare gives way to “Yer, Nokia’s gr8, innit?” (they even speak in this weird form of English, which has become known as “Twattish”) and “you goin down 2 Poundlaaaaaand aaaafter school to nick loads of stuff?”
I have heard the tale of the chav who actually went into the aforementioned establishment and asked, without any irony, how much something was.
Chav rules on food is reinforced at lunch time, when any fod offered by the school canteen which has not been deep fat fried/genetically modified/banned in other countries is readily consumed. Alternatively, the chav leaders congregate at the local shop to try and buy booze in thier school uniform (eeeeeeerrr…) or alledge sexual escapades. (These could entail even talking to the opposite sex – chav shagging is all in the mind)
So – if you have children of school age in Yeovs, I strongly recommend shipping them out (perhaps of the country for their own safety even) or you may find that one day, Burberry will be in …..
Sleep well, people.