Horsham, a nothing town of retired or retiring civil service employees

Living in Horsham, West Sussex

On the face of it Horsham portrays itself as a small pleasant old English market town.

Truthfully it is very over crowded and expanding at a rate far beyond what its market town statement can or could ever cope with.

Horsham use to boast a near 0% unemployment however with immigration, closing down of Horsham’s insurance and medical company head quarters it no longer has the jobs to support its house prices. Although denied by the council Horsham is strictly a commuter town with a station lacking any transport infrastructure to get there.

How grim is your Postcode?

Surprisingly Horsham does have a very good bus service but as stated in previous reviews the locals consider buses peasant wagons or worse those who use them bus w*nk*rs after some kids program.

Horsham people are indeed up their own backsides, I was personally shocked how few have a driving licence or a car, then all became apparent when I realised that most of them don’t venture out of Horsham unless they have a plane ticket to Magaluf.

When they are not in Magaluf they spend there Friday/Saturday nights at two rather old fashioned cocktail bars. The youngsters think Horsham has invented something new with bar tenders named after prestige cars throwing bottles about (bless em they have not heard of Tom Cruise in Cocktail). Read the trip advisors if you don’t believe.

Horsham also boasts a Juice Bar AKA a nightclub. The club portrays itself a s a cool up to date place celebrities visit. Sadly it is a place that should have a maximum age limit not minimum, 16-21 year olds.  Despite them claiming it is strictly ID on entry, most school leavers [who are definitively over 18 for legal reasons – ilivehere] seem to be regulars.

After a really 80’s naff cocktail or a drink in a Magaluf style named cocktail bar the punters emerge into the street in front of a Kebab house and meet the same people that they met last week and the week before etc. They are shortly joined by the juice bar crew who promise a few fights in the queue for some takeaway food.

The police provide a few officers to marshal the queue, sadly families and grandmothers suffer crime and break ins until the queue for a fast food has subsided.

Dispersing the crowd seems to be a mammoth task as Horsham people do not seem to have the ability to walk. A journey of a few hundred yards needs a white taxi car with driver to pull up and a police officer to push inside.

Horsham youngsters are an obnoxious bunch of so and so’s. Many have daddies in tax abusing civil service jobs and love to play the card ‘do you know who my dad is’.  Most cases they are in nothing jobs that will disappear on overdue retirement.

All in all Horsham is not for everyone. If you enjoy commuting, are happy going to the same place night after night for entertainment, like kebabs and are not bothered by everyone having their head up their own behind then it might be worth spending the extra on property and be apart of Crashom (Horsham and Crawley combined).