There’s a small area in delightful, sunny Birmingham, its name is Yardley Wood and its reputation is shocking. If you want to find the congregation of youths in Yardley wood, or “the yw” as the local ***** call it, go to the place of The Lord. Yes. Yardley Wood children are disrespectful enough to sit on graves and tombs to smoke there weed and fight. Walking past you will probably get verbally abused by a child sitting on a tomb stone, clad in a Nike, Adidas or Burberry tracksuit and fake bling even though they cannot be older that 10.
The roads are covered in **** left by them and there trampy, peroxide-blonde mothers and absentee fathers and decorated with beautiful pieces of literature such as “Chantelle woz here” and “Tylah shagged Chelsea.”
However, if the weather is bad, the youths migrate to the McDonalds down the road. This is always tense as the many groups of children dislike each other and packed together, there is often fights in which 10 will jump on 1 and call it fair. The youths terrorise the staff and are only admitted because their stolen dole money keeps the McDonalds functioning.
The Yardley Wood children are notoriously arrogant and loud. They think trouble is fun and anyone that gets arrested gets respected. Drug dealers swan around freely offering passers-by drugs, and basically shouting it down the street but nothing is ever done about it. You can normally hear a yardley child coming from down the road as “Manz reppin b14” is usually shouted before them. Anyone from another post code is at risk of violence or exclusion.
In summary. Yardley wood is a ******** and should be avoided at all costs. Especially the youths.
Erdington, the u-bend in the toilet of North Birmingham
Winson Green, Birmingham: it was a BIG mistake moving there, it’s a major hole!
Northfield, Birmingham, the worst place anybody could wish to live
Moseley, Birmingham has become a nouveau riche *****’s paradise
Castle Bromwhich is a hole to live in
Perry Barr, Birmingham, consists of Asian *****, fat **** girls in tracksuits & muggers
Weoley Castle, Birmingham: it’s rough, Weoley, Weoley rough
Yardley Wood. The haven for pisstramps.
Wyrley Birch Estate, Erdington, Birmingham, never leave any valuables on sight