Shirebrook & the “you’re not welcome here” attitude

So how did this town make the list?  is it the fine architecture of the abandoned buildings? the violent ****** “you’re not welcome in our town, stranger” attitude, or simply the diverse self styled attire of the local residents which includes such ensembles as a baseball cap and “trackies” accompanied by a shellsuit jacket.

ok well lets start with towns whereabouts, shirebrook  (also known in surrounding areas as “shitbrook”) is an old mining town in the middle of nowhere and as such relies on its own infrastructure, as traveling outside shirebrook (unless visiting prison via the panda car taxi) is too expensive as it drains the local benefits which are mostly spent on weed or smack.

To travel around in shirebrook, the local youth usually travel around in gangs, it is thought gangs are better to hang around in, this way if one of the gang wishes to fight or commit arson/vandalism (which they usually do), they can feel safe in the knowledge that fifteen versus one is a safe number. Some of the older gangs (twelve and over) have saved up enough dole money to piece together a sort of mountain bike bmx mixture which they use to travel around shirbrook more efficiently in circles around town centre at night, looking for trouble because they don’t have a tv or anything else to do.

How grim is your Postcode?

The local greetings of  “wot u lookin at?” or ” init mate” or “orate ****” are standard due to the poor education in the town and the lack of understanding of full sentences, partly due to the ****** nature of the town and partly due to the fact that nobody went to school.

Shirebrook used to have a big pub culture, with more pubs than public services, however the towns dole money and constant vandalism and obviously pub hygiene breaches forced most of the pubs to close, however alcohol fuelled violence is still prominent as bargain booze is the most used shop in the town hence most of the lads are pissed on cheap cider, and the local chavets on lambrini. Bargain booze can be found across from the job centre or signing on centre as its locally known.

Vehicles that pass through this town lock their doors and tie down the external car parts in fear of them being stolen. the locally owned vehicles are usually untaxed, uninsured old knackerd mopeds which the richest shirebrookians use for quick getaways. the local children’s park was predominantly used for jacking up or throwing used condoms or empty beer cans on, and next door a large pub called the swan closed down leaving a vast empty derelict boarded up grafiti eyesore at the entrance to the town (which is still there) tesco was going to get rid of this eyesore and build a store there, but after reviewing the town, tesco discovered the town was far too terrible.