Huyton (should be called Shiteon)

What a dump this place is and full of the most useless scallies you can come across (sorry, scallies have no use). The main shopping area is populated by Lacoste tracksuit wearing lads and 11 year old orange faced girls pushing prams with 4 kids in. There is even a feral scally girl who attempts to sell fruit to passers by in the main street but no one understands a word she ******* says as she speaks an obcure dialogue that is not even recognised by

There are many c*ck end scallies wandering about the town centre with **** all to do with their time apart from go to McDonald’s, shoplift from sportswear shops, harass people who want to mind their own business or pretend to unleash their ******* enhanced pit bulls on people, if this fails you can always find a black or asian person to abuse or write “Bizzies suck black c*ck” on bus shelters.

“THE” Asda as all the old biddies call it is simply populated by, well old biddies who spend the entire day wandering around without spending any money in the hope that they can bump into another old biddy to discuss the latest pensioner who has died or is on their last legs. They then return home about 5pm to let the night shift of old biddies to walk around all night doing the same. I never knew ASDA would hold such interest to people.

How grim is your Postcode?

Walk back into the residential area, near woolfall heath, there are many off licences and chippies about to feed and get the 8 year olds pissed. The chippies act as a place where older scally lads can shag under age girls round the back. The scallies only ned to show ID to the off licence staff particularly on twig lane to show that they are over 5 to get ciggies and cider I witnessed some scally mother shouting at the staff for serving her rat beer, after a volley of abuse she said “Ee arr luv give us tweny lambert an butler like”. Twig Lane and Woolfall Heath have had speed bumps installed to stop d*ckhead scallies racing up and down and running over toddlers, however this has not deterred them from wrecking their cars in a pathetic attempt to look hard, oh yeah and I am sure all the cars were obtained legit too.

The local post office is populated with fat ugly angry looking people who look like they have cleaned their face with a scouring pad, the old people are even worse. If you dare to inconvenience them by sending a parcel abroad and holding up the queue you will get more hostility directed at you than an American soldier in Iraq. Then it’s straight off to spend the giro on methadone when you’ve exceeded the allowed quota.

If you want a bit of entertainment you can go to the Oak Tree pub which is the smokiest pub of all time, the fire brigade should do their training there. Me and my mate went in once and were looked up and down many times in the belief that we were “bizzies”. Mind you they do have morals in here, they did fill in some burglar who would only burgle women’s houses, well thats ok then as long as he never burgled a fella’s house.

Go up by Roby station and you will be lucky to get past the church as there are a ******** ******* around in the shadows waiting for anyone who they can rob a mobile phone off or a wallet. They’sd slit their grannies throat for a tenner.

Further up is the Bluebell estate where Stevie G came from, wonder if he ever wants to go back there? – swop Freshfield for Huyton? nar don’t think he will!

A **** awful place that seems to be permanently grey even in a summer heatwave.

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