Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Merseyside, North West, United Kingdom

What a dump this place is and full of the most useless scallies you can come across (sorry, scallies have no use). The main shopping area is populated by Lacoste tracksuit wearing lads and 11 year old orange faced girls pushing prams with 4 kids in. There is even a feral scally girl who attempts to sell fruit to passers by in the main street but no one understands a word she f*****g says as she speaks an obcure dialogue that is not even recognised by Ethnologue.com.

There are many cock end scallies wandering about the town centre with f**k all to do with their time apart from go to Mcdonalds, shoplift from sportswear shops, harrass people who want to mind their own business or pretend to unleash their steroid enhanced pit bulls on people, if this fails you can always find a black or asian person to abuse or write “Bizzies suck black cock” on bus shelters.

“THE” Asda as all the old biddies call it is simply populated by, well old biddies who spend the entire day wandering around without spending any money in the hope that they can bump into another old biddy to discuss the latest pensioner who has died or is on their last legs. They then return home about 5pm to let the night shift of old biddies to walk around all night doing the same. I never knew ASDA would hold such interest to people.

Walk back into the residential area, near woolfall heath, there are many off licences and chippies about to feed and get the 8 year olds pissed. The chippies act as a place where older scally lads can shag under age girls round the back. The scallies only ned to show ID to the off licence staff particularly on twig lane to show that they are over 5 to get ciggies and cider I witnessed some scally mother shouting at the staff for serving her rat beer, after a volley of abuse she said “Ee arr luv give us tweny lambert an butler like”. Twig Lane and Woolfall Heath have had speed bumps installed to stop dickhead scallies racing up and down and running over toddlers, however this has not deterred them from wrecking their cars in a pathetic attempt to look hard, oh yeah and I am sure all the cars were obtained legit too.

The local post office is populated with fat ugly angry looking people who look like they have cleaned their face with a scouring pad, the old people are even worse. If you dare to inconvenience them by sending a parcel abroad and holding up the queue you will get more hostility directed at you than an american soldier in Iraq. Then it’s straight off to spend the giro on methodone when you’ve exceeded the allowed quota.

If you want a bit of entertainment you can go to the Oak Tree pub which is the smokiest pub of all time, the fire brigade should do their training there. Me and my mate went in once and were looked up and down many times in the belief that we were “bizzies”. Mind you they do have morals in here, they did fill in some burglar who would only burgle women’s houses, well thats ok then as long as he never burgled a fella’s house.

Go up by Roby station and you will be lucky to get past the church as there are a scumbags hanging around in the shadows waiting for anyone who they can rob a mobile phone off or a wallet. They’sd slit their grannies throat for a tenner.

Further up is the Bluebell estate where Stevie G came from, wonder if he ever wants to go back there? – swop Freshfield for Huyton? nar don’t think he will!

A f**k awful place that seems to be permanently grey even in a summer heatwave.

  • Chris

    You can tell this is a load of bollox straight off the cough because I don’t think there is one “Asian” who lives in Huyton, so it would be difficult to abuse any of them.

    You need to sort your head out you sad bastard, where are you from?

  • confirmed huyton emo

    this is a work of art. So glad that a literary genius lives amongst the scallies, scumbags and old biddies.

  • Tracey Iverson

    I was born in Huyton and use to be a nice community but like all low income house or middle income all over the world same is haming . USA has had this for decades .

  • andy l36

    we huyton civilians tend to pick and choose our arguments with the sort of people that deserve the attention from us, as does this meet tat criteria?
    it most definitely does.

    so here is a few pointers from where i’m at being a st johns (hood-rat) as its known.

    1. i find people from huyton who are thieves are usually drug addicts who tend not to steel from their own but people who are daft enough to leave their windows open when they go on holiday or out etc….(like putting a chocolate in front of a child and saying dont’ eat it)

    2. mostly its only wooly backs (people from st.helens, wigan , north wales, and surrounding areas where the term sunday best isn’t your tracky bottoms tucked into your mitre delta footy boots from farmfoods). who get robbed.

    3. if you got robbed its probably your own fault for being either; a wool, a grass, or cruel to animals.

    peace out dick wanks, we could not give two shiney ones about any of ye!


  • AW

    A very balanced opinion. Just a shame it is 31 years old. How can you pass opinion on something that you no longer have any idea about?

  • allen

    I lived in Huyton 1949 to 1970. Did not like it much due to gratuitous violence, rampant stealing, an excessive drinking culture and a lack of opportunities. The neighbours and community spirit on the whole back then were good and we were taught to respect our elders and family. Due to the number of burglaries in the area, we had 3 locks on the front and back doors and all the windows screwed down, but we were never robbed due to the fact that we knew all the local hard cases and respected. I also never started a fight in my life but was involved in enough to be able to defend myself, even had a fight in the boys pen toilets at anfield. I knew merseyside was deteriorating due unemployment and government policies, so I moved on to another country. It was a good move, I have 3 kids who have great futures earning 120000, 100000, and the other just finishing a degree in creative writing and earning 70000 dollars in sales. My upbringing in Huyton in the 60’s gave me the go forward and aggressive nature I have today. I went back for a brief holiday in 1983 and could see what outsiders see. In that 13 year period I could see a massive change, drugs, higher unemployment, foul language, many young girls dressed like loose women, young males with no ambition hanging round the streets, destruction of property, violence ( first night out 2 fights in the Rose AND Crown), The advice I would give to present day Huytonian parents teach your kids respect for the community and the people around you, how to talk in glowing and positive terms about life, how to dress more business like to make it in the business world and last but not least to start their own business and work for themselves, so they can provide for their future families. Remember society does not owe you anything.

    Allen Australia

  • Liam Cosgrave

    Huyton is just a sh*t little town full of wannabe scousers

  • Girl grew up in huyton

    Id love you to find a place which is perfect, get over yourselves this is so boring, and people who grew up there agreeing with this, shame on you because even you know this is highly exaggerated

  • huyton

    cheeky stuck up c**t probably are a bizzie hope you get cancer soon

  • left quick

    grew up there , didnt like it , left as soon as i could …. i didnt wear the latest fashions and couldnt give a toss about hanging around bollards at night so was a target for those who did , …. if you like rebok trainers and northface jackets and just hanging about youll be fine , if not , dont hang around mosscroft , st johns , blue bell,plucky farm etc (these are the places blacks , gays and goths have been attacked and some killed) but hope you can live the down by the rooley or the other side of tarbuck rd , its nice there , people have jobs and own their homes.

  • Sean

    Think you are talking about page moss… Apart perhaps from ASDA which technically is in huyton.. Although when did old people become chavs.. Oh my did your girlfriend dump you… Did she work in the fruit shop but live in page moss? Ah I see 🙂

  • Huyton with Roby

    I’m sorry but this is a huge lie. Also many people saying they come from Huyton and are agreeing with this post must not know Huyton very well at all. I live in Huyton very close to Roby station which was mentioned and I have never in my entire life seen or come across ‘scallies’ in that area. They people of Huyton (especially Huyton with Roby) are kind, hardworking people who will help you out whenever it is needed. Regardless whether they know you or not. There may be slight truth behind this post such as the old ‘biddies’ in Asda, but they want to spend their day like that then let them. Also they are not the only people who go to Asda. Other than that most things on this post are utter lies, and even if they have slight truth, they are hugely exaggerated. If you don’t like Huyton do not come here-simple, if you ask me, but don’t go around spitting useless lies onto a page because hiding behind a screen while typing hate is pathetic and childish and just shows that you are obviously too much of a coward to say anything to a loyal person from Huyton due to fearing your child-like nature will be shown when a Huyton’er defends their area!

  • janet

    i live in huyton and i work very hard that rubbish that you put on internet is get a life you fool xx