Local mobs often keep quiet during the week in Larkhall although there is the occasional fight, the occasional singing, and the occasional alcohol and cannabis consumption. Larkhall is quite a little place about 30 – 45 minutes away from Glasgow, its big brother towns (the c***s would argue they are our little brother towns) are Hamilton, Motherwell, Stonehouse and Lanark.
You are in about 30% danger of being attacked by a c**v verbally or physically during the week. The weekend however… is another story, this small number shoots up to a rough 89% of being verbally attacked, and 79% of being physically attacked. The local c***s gather at the local leisure centre to trade, share and sell drugs and money. The leisure centre used to be run by the local skate team who would practice their skating skills round the side on the curbs. That didn’t last long. The c***s roam the streets with bottles of ‘Buckfast’ ‘Cider’ ‘Vodka’ and ‘Poof juice’ (as they call it) Very often getting into little arguments, not even with other groups or people, amongst themselves.
If you wish to see a display of chavism and what it can do to you when you’re older, why not stroll down to the Raploch park. You’ll maybe see a pile of smashed bottles, some blood, some teeth or nothing more than an old man walking his dog through the park. If you were lucky enough to catch the old man with his dog, this was most likely because just before you arrived the police had been there, searched the c***s, found knifes, drink and drugs and arrested them.
The Raploch park (once a busy football ground) is now nothing more than an abandoned park with a set of goals and changing rooms. The changing rooms however, covered in graffiti, spikes on the roof and vandal grease. < There are other famous hang out spots such as the local golf course, if you play golf and fancy being put off by lunatics in the woods at the side, why not pay for a years membership. Now we move onto the famous 'Gully' park, ran by a team of boys built like military tanks, sporting jeans and tracksuit tops, baseball caps and a bottle of alcohol under their arm. These are serious trouble. Give these boys the wrong look and within seconds you'll be on the ground begging for your face not to be smashed in. They've done it all, stealing cars, fighting each other, fighting adults, mugging people, spray painting all the local shops, beating up the local newsagent, smashing the local newsagent windows, throwing boys into bins, beating their fathers up, you name it...its been done. These boys are more grown up now but their siblings, and cousins are now 'running the show' (as they put it) at the 'Gully'. Thats a brief description of Larkhall.