Dymchurch a.k.a Grimchurch, is a small tourist village located on the south-east coast of Kent, Oh if only it were that simple. As a youth having grown up in this geriatric landfill I can say to any young family looking to move here, simply, do not. The product of a Dymchurch updragging is either two things which can be analysed at the age of 18. The first product the classic C**v, Dymchurch c***s have a particular fondness to roam the village late at night on their BMXs intimidating people In Kappa track suits, or two, The Angsty Disillusioned youth (Yours Truly) so look forward to your child being one of them two things, also the primary school is substandard and facilities and activities for youth, is non-existent.
Let’s move on to the Booming Tourist trade, I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Tourist season is the worst, invaded by thousands of rude City people, You may say to yourself “It’s fine, the beach and the weather will be worth it” WRONG. You can’t find a spot on the beach and it rains 3/4 of the time. Also your favourite phrase to hear (In a strong cockney accent) will be “It must be lovely to live by the beach. No. Sand gets everywhere and when we can enjoy the beach in the summer, people like you are here.
Oh the residents, how could we forget the Racist, Unwelcoming, Discriminative and unsavoury Old people, that will look at you like a piece of s**t on their shoe.
So to summarise.
Awful Youths, Awful Schools, Rains 24/7 and when it doesn’t overrun with cockneys, Racist elderly and Oh, 3 pubs, a British legion and a drink problem.