Dinnington – Arse end of the Universe

Living in Dinnington, Yorkshire
Living in Dinnington, Yorkshire

Dinnington – Arse end of the Universe

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Dinnington is an absolute sh*thole, very much reminiscent of the bottom of a municipal bin that’s growing maggots and stinks of.. well we don’t don’t what it is, but every now and then you get a whiff. More than likely the decaying stench of broken prams, mattresses and mouldy decaying sofas, that readily line the gardens and side streets and any waste ground, and there’s a lot of waste ground. An urban underbelly of criminal activity, Saturday nights are filled with the joyful gunshots of chavs and chavettes testing out their muscle before holding up the shops on the now derelict high street. Luckily you won’t ever see anyone on the high street, since the crime rate is so high that it isn’t worth being held up and knife point and gun point for the fiver a day any shop would take, and nothing is here, so don’t bother.

The town is festooned with feral kids, mostly inbred, and somehow slipping through the system like rats into sewers. If you wish to visit, please beware of flying bricks, getting your car vandalised, and being criminally overcharged in the local corner shops, where you can pick up a lard butty and chemical soft drink til 8 o clock at night.

The local sports include practising hand eye co ordination by throwing eggs and used nappies into your neighbour’s gardens, which is a therapeutic practice encouraged for those whose verbal skills have much atrophied. Do not expect a smile, greeting, or warm hello. Everyone in this town is very much a miserable get, grunting , scowling, and kicking that head in passes for communication, so please be ready with the one finger gesture, which is the preferred method of meeting strangers.

There is absolute nothing to do in town, except pick a fight in the pubs, and beware the women of this town, as they are harder than the men. They would throw a baby walker at you from 500 yards, so please be prepared.

It’s very easy to make friends in Dinnington, because once they can get into your house, they can liberally help themselves to your stuff, any spare change that may be lying around, and even your loaves of bread, coffee or shampoo.

Everything about this place has seriously gone derelict, proud monuments to it’s once glorious mining heritage. It is a place that has been forgotten and will be forgotten. If you’re ever thinking of visiting here, or moving into the area, I seriously recommend you forget it.







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