Cottingham, we would love our village if it wasn’t so close to Hull

Living in Cottingham, East Riding of Yorkshire

I think I can speak for the entire population of Cottingham when I say that we love our village. Or we would, if it wasn’t so close to Hull. There is a local school where very no paedophilia takes place, a local library where you can take out books and read them, and a Thursday market where you can buy all manner of delights from broken biscuits to clothes pegs.

However, on Friday/Saturday nights, the pubs become filled with under 18s, and drunk football yobbos. Pubs to avoid are all of them, especially tavern. It’s ******* *****, because you can’t get food, pints are all £3+, and if you forget your ID even if you’re 30 you get kicked out and the little ******** who are borrowing their brothers sit and pull ****** signs at you as you walk out.

Basically, don’t come, because it’s far enough away from Hull for the residents to feel superior, but close enough for anyone visiting to realise there’s no actual difference.

How grim is your Postcode?