The Hole that is Fareham

Fareham located halfway between the port cities of Southampton and Portsmouth. With the current government insistance of prison overcrowding, a wall around Fareham would be a perfect place for a new super prision. A good motto for Fareham would be ‘We were born here, whats your excuse?’ It’s a town of ugly people who generally waddle when they walk.

The nightlife in Fareham conists of low grade bars filled with low lifes whose idea of a great night, is a pint and a fight, due to mosts inability to handle thier alcohol coupled with their drinking of the (allegedly) wife beating beer also know as Stella. Chicago Shock is the closet venue that resembles a night club (well it’s open later, you pay to get in after 10 and it’s full of mutton dressed as lamb).

On a warm day you can sit by the creek and enjoy the smell when the tide is out if you haven’t already been robbed by a junkie. If you do find yourself in Fareham don’t even bother clicking your heels saying there’s no place like home because people will asume you’ve just been released from the local hospice or clinic. All in all, if you enjoy nice place,s try anywhere other than Fareham or you may end up getting stuck when the wall is finally built. But hey at least there is a McDonalds and a pirates bounty of Kebab shops to help you bust a gut.

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