Penrith – **** heaven

CumbriaNorth West

Penrith what a lovely place until you actualy get there. Like Carlisle, Penriths bigger brother, Penrith has its own historical features like it s castle and well thats it. Penrith would be a nice place were it not for all the **** **** that infest the place.

Penrith has its own **** factory known locally as UCC(Ullswater Community College). It produces some of the finest ***** you have never wanted to set eyes on. They turn small children into jibbering ‘real’ burberry clad morons. They have done this with considerable ease as they follow the year 11 role models. These role models smoke drink and get ‘pissed’ with any slight nonconformism to **** behaviour.

The ***** of penrith have little to do so they turn to there favourite pass time which is causing trouble. The prime targets for this type of behaviour is castletown and penrith centre with over 10 pubs which they constantly try to get into. The second favourite haunt is McDonalds where they shout at everyone who **** in. They are usally obscene jestures or if you go in wearimng jeans you get called a ‘greb’ ‘greasy ******’ and other rude and totally un offensive things.

Saturday is a ***** favoutite day because the market is on. This is the prime time for ‘taxin’ or ‘chavin’ the latest fake burberry or **** n lighters off market stalls. After there happy purchases the little ***** hang around town causing toruble. they then head off the Waverly for some ‘hardcore tunes’ and to get pissed. you will usally find them bein sick on there way back home to there un lovin familys who havnt missed them.
A litle advice if you go to Penrith and dont like ***** where trainers so you can run away from them fast before they massacre you. good luck.


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