Dagenham, Halfway To Hell

Living in Dagenham

Dagenham has all the charm of a fetid pool of primordial muck. If **** heaven is in Romford, then Dagenham is the gateway between heaven and hell.

Like Romford, Dagenham has its own nightlife, but most of this involves the not so elusive **** and the ever famous Dagenham Bowl, a bowling alley that seems to revolve around childrens slot machines and american pool tables.

The main attraction of Dagenham is the entertainment complex located just off of the busy A13. A wide variety of fast food restaurants offer a cornocopia of choice, for all of those hungry ***** who spent a hectic night terrorising the locals.

How grim is your Postcode?

For all those graffiti artists out there, Dagenham is the place to be, ‘Representing the Nam’ is an ever popular past time for, not only Dagenham, but for the surrounding areas. Throwing up your tag is the best way to be noticed in this area.

For all of those looking for the heaving nightlife of Dagenham, youll be looking for a long time. Most of the pubs in this area have been shut and knocked down over the past few years, due to all you cheeky underage drinkers out there.

The closest you will find to Dagenham’s nightlife would be at the Dagenham Heathway.
(Situated handily on the District line, for all you out of town ****’s)
This place has something for all ****’s, whether it be stealing phones or for terrorising the locals.

Dagenham is well known for its drug dealers, so if your looking for that artificial high, then Dagenham is the place to score a hit.

If you Lad ***** are looking for a nice girl to knock up then walk out on, Dagenham is deffinatly the place to be. Also nicknamed as Slagenham, Dagenham is one of the most well known places for teenage pregnancy’s in the UK.

So if your a ******** looking for some nice cushty benefits then this is your Mecca, and for the ***** and teenybopper ***** of tomorrow, this is the place to sew your seed.

If your looking for a place where ****, murder and drug taking is all the rage then Dagenham is your haven.

Older ***** dont frequent Dagenham as much as their teenybopper counterparts, even if they come from there. They prefer the thumping nightlife of Romford.

And remember, if you support West Ham, but dont want to live in East London, then Dagenham is the halfway point to the East End and Essex, so it will be your best bet for cheap housing and its right on the doorstep to **** Heaven in Romford and football heaven in Upton Park.