I, come from Stoke Gifford which borders onto Bradley Stoke and Filton. For those who aren’t informed, Bradley Stoke is a fairly new establishment of houses. Just houses and a leisure centre, a few pubs, a tesco (And a tesco express, wow, what a choice) and a load of offices. They went about building approx 5 un-needed primary schools, but forgot about a secondary school for the c***s and chavettes that spend their time at school shagging in the toilets or having a fag behind the bike sheds at breaktime. They’d better make the school indestructable. So, because of the lack of secondary schools, the C***s and Chavettes are either pointed in the direction of The Ridings High School at Winterbourne (Notorious for its drugs problems) and Filton High School in Filton (You would never have guessed, haha). Filton High got the worst or the second worst GCSE result in Bristol, which came second last in the UK League Tables. When I drive to school (Yes, I’m only 12 years old but I am able to spell properly, use correct grammar and speak properly without using the word ‘Love’ after everything I say when adressing another woman or girl), I have the unfortunate luck of driving past the Filton High School rabble, with their baseball caps pointing at the sky, gleaming white trainers and tracksuit tops over the tops of their uniforms. The girls however, probably sign contracts with the company that make hair gel, and invest on 365 pots of hair gel (One for every day of the year) to make sure that their hair is pulled back so tight they practically have a facelift. All you can hear is a lot of shouting, and incredibly c**v like voices. The Bristolian accent is very flexible, and suits the c**v group perfectly.
If I feel like going shopping, to purchase some new clothing, I have the choices of : Broadmead, The Mall or Yate. All are c**v infested, and as I live closest to The Mall, I generally go there. The minute I stepped in the revolving door, the smell of BO (Tracksuits, eurgh), Cheap perfume and the leather of Nike trainers hits you. You have to push your way though the crowds, and The Mall happens to have a JD Sports, JJB Sports and a food outlet consisting of Pizza Hut, Singapore Sam, KFC and Burger King. There is also a Starbucks, but no c**v would be seen dead in that coffee place. Because the charming people that decided to build shops in the Cribbs Causeway area also decided it would be a great idea to place some other shops around it. So now we have; Halfords, TK Maxx, B&Q, Hobbycraft, Makro, Asda, Morrisons,MFI, Argos, Yet another Burger King, McDonalds (or maccy d’s as known to c***s) and an assortment of other shops of the like. When I decided to venture into Asda (Or Asdalls, as prounounced by the bristolian locals) one day, My mother was getting some cold meat from the counter. The woman behind the counter had the typical short c******e haircut (Meaning she was over 30), the tacky gold earrings, the trainers and after everything she said there was the word ‘love’. How can you call somebody you don’t even know ‘love’?
But, this is not the end. This is the North of Bristol, which is nothing compared to the areas of Speedwell, Hartcliffe, Knowle West, Bedminster, St Pauls, Montpelier, Yate, Southmead and other places in and around Bristol. Most people that live in the areas go shopping in the city centre, commonly known as Broadmead. Everywhere you go, all you see is a mass of tacky gold jewellery, burberry, baseball caps and trainers. Just sit on a bench for a little while and watch. Its appalling, spitting everywhere, the twin buggies being pushed by someone barely older than 17 with a fag hanging out their mouth.
In Bristol, there is no escape unless you migrate to the area of Clifton, but a whole house around there will set you back a small sum of approx £800,000 so no c**v living on a giro could afford a property there, and most c***s regard the people that pay extortionate amounts of money to get away from them in areas as Clifton and Sneyd Park, the posh knobs. I got accused by a 17 year old, belly hanging out over trousers, fag in hand, spitting at every possible moment that I was a ‘posh f***’ for saying the word sibling.
Anybody wishing to pay a visit to a fantastic c**v spotting area, come to Bristol and have a free burberry cap courtesy of the locals.