Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Avon, South West, United Kingdom

I had occasion to visit my daughter in Bristol a week ago & was instantly aware of something not quite right about the place. No Chavs! In my entire four day visit I saw not one baseball cap worn with the peak above the standard 90 degrees to the forehead. Tracksuit bottoms were worn outside of socks & even the local J.D Wetherspoons contained only regular folk enjoying a quiet drink.

On visiting some other local licensed premises, not one person enquired as to “What I was f*****g looking at?” even though my accent betrayed me as a thicko Northerner.

We visited the Cribb’s Causeway shopping centre & again the place was Chavless. In my home town of Hull, security staff would be employed full time squeegeeing Burberry slime off the mall’s walkways & engaging in a spot of Scally slapping as they ejected the vermin.

My question. What is Bristol’s secret? Does the local counsel employ full time Chav exterminators or is there something more evil lurking unseen by daytime folk which has eradicated this blight of less fortunate cities?
If anyone knows, prey tell, & I will pass the information onto the city council of Hull