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Chav Nirvana – Where everybody will be your “Luuuuvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

Staple Hill/Kingswood. OK so imagine that you are the product of inbreeding. Not only this but as a child you were repeatedly dropped on your head from the 40th floor of the local council flats. Also picture coming down off a 78 hour drug fuelled binge, 20 litres of White Lightening for breakfast and then factor in that you suffer from severe learning difficulties. If you add all of these basic components together you can generally get a pretty good idea of the average Staple Hill/ Kingswood Chav/vette.

If any of you have the misfortune to come through Bristol, I would strongly advise you not to stop in this cesspool of iniquity. However, if your curiosity gets the better of you I would recommend visiting the following places.

The Staple Hill Oak: Here the great and the good of the Staple Hill Chav glitterati can be viewed in there natural habitat. From 11am onwards the place is packed to the rafters with Chav/vettes.

Chasers (kingswood): Here the Chav/vettes can be seen conducting their bizarre mating rituals. This normally includes downing around 15 pints of Stella, making your way to the dance floor and then rubbing your genitals against anything that moves. Chasers is a prime meat market and if you also have any Chav hating issues is a great place to be on a Friday/Saturday night as fights are always guaranteed.

All in all Bristol and its surrounding areas are a wonderful place to observe the recent phenomenon of the Chav. They can be seen on virtually every street of this once great city, omnipresent springs to mind. Bristol may not be the Chav capital of the UK but it is certainly up there. It is a must for all committed observers of the Chav.







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