Stonnall, in the middle of nowhere between Walsall and Lichfield

The sleepy village of Stonnall is situated in the middle of nowhere between Walsall and Lichfield. In fact, Stonnall is so sleepy, that one of the roads is actually named Lazy Hill. Surrounded by farms and fields, Stonnall is a very quiet village and could be classed as the Emmerdale of Staffordshire. The reason that Stonnall is so quiet could be due to the fact that most of its population are over the age of 60.

In terms of what Stonnall has to offer, not a lot can be said. There is a small school, an Indian, a hairdressers and a Spar shop. There is also a very random tattoo shop, although this will probably close down like many other small businesses which have attempted and failed to conquer Stonnall. Perhaps the best asset of the village would be the award winning chip shop – people from far and wide (Aldridge) travel to the Stonnall Fish Bar on a Friday night for their chippy dinner and the queues are often out the door. If you are looking for Stonnalls form of entertainment, the village hall (although it resembles more of a shack) is where it’s at. It hosts extravagant events such as coffee mornings and the knitting club.

Because there is a complete lack of things to do in Stonnall if you are under the age of 60, young people find village life very dull and boring. Most teens often spend their lives contemplating whether to call Childline as they are sure that their parents choice to live in Stonnall could be classified as some form of abuse. Unreliable buses (sheds on wheels) out of the village only run every 3/4 hours and stop at 5pm, meaning that you have to get taxis or be able to drive if you want to escape the village for somewhere a little more lively (literally – as most of the people that live in Stonnall are knocking on deaths door).

One thing that Stonnall can boast about is its extremely low crime rate, although this may be due to the fact that no one actually knows Stonnall exists. There was one isolated incident of an armed robbery at the Spar, but by the time the police had actually worked out where Stonnall was, the robbers could have made their getaway on a mobility scooter and wouldn’t have been caught.

In a nutshell, if you like fields, the whiff of horse s**t or you are about to pop your clogs – Stonnall is the place to be.

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