Cheshunt: take a journey to classless cultural Mecca

The ner’do’wells of the World celebrate by making the journey to their cultural Mecca that is Cheshunt. If Ch@vs have any ambition at all it is to move to this satellite dish, right to buy, black cab drivers paradise.

Fat dads jumping out of their cabs to take Mitchell,Jordan, and Taylor(they all have Surnames as forenames)to football. The next two hours spent screaming obscenities at everyone who doesn’t think that their repulsive offspring represent Englands best chance of success at the next World Cup.

The irony of this hellhole is that their Burberry, Prada,Stone Island is NOT fake. They take pride in telling people how much they paid for such garish tat. At home 60″ plasma screens, white leather sofas, and the obligatory “professionally” done family photos assault your senses. He’ll have a pool room at home and a “bar”( I kid you not , this apparently is classy). Then the dads will start on the issue of benefit fraud and how every foreigner is “at it”. Shorty afterwards he’ll be found in his local regaling his pals with stories of how he fiddles his tax each year, and anyone who doesn’t is a “f**kin mug”.

How grim is your Postcode?

I could write a book about these urchins and their bilious mutterings.

How to spot them. Just go to Cheshunt, everyone is like it. But apparently they’re above everyone else as they drive a Freelander to the beauty salon (their mum and dad’s) and they are in denial about their Ch@v Status.

It is absolutely pitiful. It is South Hertfordshire in its full glory.