Crappy Crawley – depressing hole of the south

Living in Crawley, West Sussex

Ahh good old Crawley… where to start? Let me start with the sh*thole county mall: the type of mall that not only favours fake mobile phone shops and cheap crappy clothing. It also favours ***** that desire ruining your shopping day by calling you a **** or a f*ggot. This mall is so bad for […]

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Is Haywards Heath, West Sussex a nice place to live?

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Is Cuckfield, West Sussex a nice place to live?

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Is Burgess Hill, West Sussex a nice place to live?

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Haywards Heath – the patio of England

Living in Haywards Heath, West Sussex

Haywards Hoth dates back to 1544 meaning a “heath by the enclosure with a hedge”. An unsearchable and unheard of ‘legend’ suggests that the town is named after a local highway man, Jack Hayward, who committed his crimes in the vicinity at some undefined period in the past. I suspect this is a colossal in-joke […]

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East Grinstead: a nothing town filled with horrible people

Living in East Grinstead, West Sussex

I have lived in East Grinstead now for 5 years. Although the town has one of the oldest high streets in the country, it does not take away from the fact that it’s a nasty horrible place. The town itself is filled with *****, nutters, nasty middle-class idiots and Scientologists (the national Scientology headquarters is […]

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Is it Horsham or is just me?

Living in Horsham, West Sussex

What even is Horsham? Horsham is spending the majority of your time at school making fart noises with your armpit then ten years later, owning your own business with 10 employees and a fleet of vans. It’s dreading walking down West Street in the company of your own mother, because in all likelihood, you’ll pass […]

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