Well well well, where can I start? Wrexham is the hole of North Wales, the ultimate chav capital of Cymru (yes, worse than Cardiff!) and the failure of many attempts to be named a ‘city’.
Our town boasts chavs of all ages, shapes and sizes, and a unique accent. It is a common version of the Northern Welsh accent, exclusive to Wrexham. It all starts with the nasal and short pronunciation of the letter ‘a’ and the disappearance of the letter ‘g’ off the end of most words. It’s hard to describe, but only those who have heard it will really appreciate this exquisite intonation.
Wrexham is a large town with many different areas, the town centre being the hot spot for all chavs. We boast a variety of different pound shops; Poundland, The Pound Shop, The £1 Shop – I’m sure you get the picture. Prime time is usually around 3pm on a Saturday afternoon, and the main congregation spot being the Kop, situated at one end of the Racecourse (Wrexham’s dying football ground). Chavs of all ages come here to watch our team play, united they are a giant chav congregation, representing a large chunk of our chav town.
As the evening draws in, many dine out, a la carte, at our infamous MacDonalds. The females of the species gather around the feeding place and watch out for the males as they compete to find a mate. The males take to their cheap Vauxhalls, the lower the better, and loud dance music is a necessity, Scooter being a popular favourite choice. Females also see darkened windows and little LEDs as a good features in the dominant males. As gallons and gallons of petrol are wasted as the males go “lappin round Maccy D’s”, the females present themselves in short skirts, accompanied by a fine pair of fake brown rockports (available at our local market). These are usually accessorised by some large gold hoops and hair scraped back into a ponytail, topped off with a large plastic flower to complete the look.
Some people are born into chav families, yet some achieve and evolve into chavness over time. This is probably helped by living in such an environment as Wrexham, where chav culture is the norm. They breed and roam freely around this town, where mass chav production takes place through inbreeding and underage ‘shaggin’ near all good local playgrounds. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Wrexham: the arsehole of Britain and utter embarassment of Wales.