Worksop

Now you are probably wondering why I am writing yet a piece on a town which already has a couple of write-ups on it. I just felt that there were a few things that the otherwise very detailed other pieces didnt really expand on…here goes…

This town is seriously lacking some much needed cash injection from the government. 8years ago I moved to this area and things werent too bad. The town centre was thriving with business, and jobs were plentiful. Public transport was dependable, and people went on through life as any other town would have done.

Almost a decade on, and Worksop really is in the dumps. Businesses have shut down and people have been made redundant. The local MP (John Mann) is a total **** and even after years of being in power, he has yet to make any real difference. Look under ‘Useless *******’ in the dictionary and I’m pretty sure it will be his name in the description.

How grim is your Postcode?

Now in this last 8 years we have seen the rise of a new breed. Ugly, threatening, obtrusive little things. This mutation seems to have taken place in the Manton area, and has simply taken over the town and all surrounding areas. Unfortunately it appears to have become out of control, and very little can be done to calm their invasion. We are of course, talking about the unmistakeble ****…

Mcdonalds used to be a place to take the kids on a saturday lunchtime for a treat. Now its a local doss-pit for junkies, potheads and general spotty 14 yr old girls sporting the notorious gold ‘Clown’ jewellery. Even the carpark holds its own unofficial lap-record, currently held by some scruffy low-life living on benefits.

If you have not been wiped out by some **** doing a burnout in a 15yr-old Rusty Nova, maybe we should take a trip to the Local school Carpark outside Valley Comprehensive school. During the daytime this unconspicuous parking area is used by good job-attending folk like you an me. However, come nightfall and this all changes. In come the ***** from all surrounding areas (Kilton, Carlton, etc) drinking White Lightning and smoking drugs, which was bought with the loose change stolen from their frail old Grandma’s handbag.

Then we move on to Sandy Lane. Some of you may recall that Sandy Lane was actually known to have the highest amount of ****** users for its population, in Europe. So thats Worksop’s claim to fame then!? Hardly something to be proud about. This is a no-go area in the daytime, let alone at night. Just to put your mind at ease if you ever find yourself wondering through Sandy Lane, you will be comforted by the graffiti on the local newsagent that reads “TRUST NO ONE”. Honestly guys, this place is nasty.

In other words people, if you ever feel the need to visit the worst town in Britain, please pop down to Worksop. I guarantee you will leave feeling freshly threatened and abused. That is assuming you dont mutate into one of ‘them’ in the meantime…….