Wolverhampton (Vulgarhampton)

One of towns the Government thought fit for city status several years ago, but alas! what a toilet this place is amid the urban sprawl of dives such as Bloxwich, Willenhall, Bilston, Walsall – to name but a few. Wolverhampton is stuck in a 1970’s time warp for starters – people still have feather cuts, and wear kipper ties, (in Burberry), and aspire to be Noddy Holder or Dave Hill out of Slade.
The *****, (whose great-grandparents are very likely to be still playing Slade albums) can be found in a number of locations in **** city. The majority hang around the Mander Centre, in, or near the Sound as a Pound shop. Otherwise, they can be found usually at Pipers Row bus station in large groups doing their best to attract the attention of ********* loitering only on the off chance of free **** and shags.
Heading into the suburbs, and you will find the Burberry Brigade en masse in places like Penn Fields, Warstones, Bushbury, Low Hill, (you can’t get any lower than this!), Park Village, and Whitmore Reans. No shopping precinct is safe anymore, and you will find that ***** frequent the naffest take-aways too – the ones that have never seen or heard of food hygiene certification, and also cook all their Farm Foods type pies, chips, etc., in knocked off, out-of-date BSE lard. No **** diet is complete without as much **** and toxins as they can lay their hands on, and let’s face it, they do pretty well, and that’s before they fill up on drugs.
If you must go to Wolverhampton, stay well clear of the **** Zones – head for the west side, which, as far as I know, is **** free…at the moment. Trouble is, coming from the west side and not so far away, is…Telford…say no more!

How grim is your Postcode?