Woking! It has all the charm of Basingstoke, but minus the roundabouts.
There seem to be McDonalds round every corner and flabby women with ill-judged, partly-blonded, bird’s nest hairdos everywhere, their KFC-fed charms bursting out of tight pink tops and faded denim mini-skirts.
On my 11am visit, a man wearing a back-to-front baseball cap pushed in front of me on the pavement at the roadworks by the station – and was then comprehensively sick in a corner.
Driving your car, at the lights, you are challenged to a duel by *****. In their Toyota Yarises!