Withernsea – or “Wiv”, as the ******* call it.

Withensea, Property guide and review
Withensea, Property guide and review

Withernsea – or “Wiv”, as the ******* call it.

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On the edge of the East Coast, in the area known as the East Riding, sits the little town of Withernsea, “Wiv” or the less popular Wither”en”sea as it is mispronounced by the *****. Withernsea became popular as a holiday destination amongst the Victorians in the 1800s with the arrival of the railway. At 127ft a large Lighthouse is a prominent feature on this town and it serves is original purpose, or warning all within visual range that they are approaching a place that will ruin them for if they venture too close, for they will surely come crashing down to earth on the rocks of hopelessness and despair. Modern day Withernsea is truly a **** hole on the **** of society and the large white erection is quite apt, given the state of the town.

The 76 bus route from Hull, **** central, ferries ***** and pensioners into this dump for a day of sea, sand and fresh air though in reality it is more like a day of sewage, shingle and fishy smells.

The line of rotting amusement arcades attracts ***** like flies to **** as they congregate around the entrances looking for anyone remotely weaker to intimidate and mug. In reality these spotty little goons couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag and their prey tends to be a solitary, stoned Goth with 36p and a packet of fresh mints.

How grim is your Postcode?

These ***** look like they have been cloned from one another as they pretend to be original in Burberry scarves and white baseball caps. They are all white and mal nourished with scrawny arms spotty necks. Feel free to **** one to within an inch of his life, he will later relate a story to his mates about the set of 8 ****** he sorted out single handed.

Speaking of ******, the Market on a weekend is something not to be missed. ***** and ****** working together in perfect harmony as fake Burberry Baseball Caps and illegal copies of Ali G are exchanged for the cash gained from mugging the pensioners as they get off the 76 bus. Then both sides hesitantly depart the market before the local Trading Standards Officers arrive in the latest swoop on Pirate DVD sellers.

The crime rate in Withernsea is astronomical. A small town with a high crime rate that can be put down to unscrupulous private landlords who house **** evictees from neighbouring ‘ULL. To get banned from ‘ULL is quite hard but certain **** Meth heads have managed a trail of anti-social behaviour and destruction that even the Police could not ignore it and they have been thrown out of their council houses as a result. These bad boys invariable end up in With selling their white powder and pills to the local inhabitants, who would sniff talc if given the opportunity, such is the mediocrity of life in this hell hole.

The only hope for this seaside town is for costal erosion to sweep it into the North Sea with the rest of the **** from the East coast.

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