Where do we start? Ah yes, Willenhall the weed capital of the Midlands. No-one gives a S*** and no body needs to here. All the low life scum do is nick clothes and sell them in the [pub we cant name for legal reasons], deal drugs and bring up endless kids who are usually dealing scrap metal or drugs by the time they are 13.

Everybody here has a dog (or Dogs) that bark uncontrollably for no reason whatsoever all day and all night. If you like loud music and have none of your own come to Willenhall and enjoy everybody elses. Or maybe engage in some idle chit chat with the neighbours all that’s needed is a deck chair (set up in your front garden or even on the footpath outside your house) then you can sit there all day drinking cans of super and discussing benefits with the neighbours!

To sum up Willenhall…

• Everyone has a dog that barks…but they don’t know why
• Everyone has kids…but they don’t know their names or Fathers
• All the Kids ride bikes they grew out of 10 years ago
• Bins are left out after collection day for at least 3 days (if they are taken in sooner people may presume you are not busy (even though you are not))
• At least in Willenhall the off licences & chip shops are busy and there are lots of chavy £1 shops for you to browse
• Willenhall is that desperate even the burglars don’t wait till your out they just stab you if you happen to be in when they arrive!