Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North East

Welcome to West Cornforth- deep in the heart of Tony Blair’s Sedgefield, the only rule for living here is that you have to be skem.


We’re not fussy if you wear Burberry or Hi-Tec just as long as you know how to speak fukwit and can throw a brick or two preferably at old ladies windows or people waiting in the bus queue. We don’t even care how much time you’ve done at her majesty’s – because most of us have anyway.
That’s what makes us special – we’re skem and were proud of it and we do what we like.
We love our charvers here, in fact you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone under the age of 35 who doesnt sport hoop earings, extra glitter, branded tracksuits and baseball caps.
We love our dogs as well, staffys and we have the odd bairn or two- but we don’t support em. Kappa- Slappa’s are ok but we don’t want em hanging about with us all the time.
We shag em and fag em and then we’re off to nick a few Fosters.
You’ll see us gathered on the street corner or by the Co-op sucking on a tab and shouting to our charver mates – Fog On.
Come and see for yourself, but dont forget to bring a bottle of Bella, just in case Tony’s in town.