This town really is the breeding town of “yung c***s”. Thrown out of the house until mum’s boyfriend is back from the pub and asleep on the Argos sofa, teenage chavsters are really at a loss for something to do. Even though they’re gobby enough to talk their way into out of town pubs who don’t care about their age, they have to be seen hanging around outside the “Howard” shopping centre – christ the shopping centre even has a c**v name! The Addidas wearing, gold necklace sporting 14 year c**v girls have two pass times – cheering on their 18 year old c**v boyfriends in their lowered nova’s as they race around the central green areas (nice brackdrop, as they pretend to be playing midtown madness on their playstations) or chatting up the 40 stone bouncers on the door of the “cask” wine bar. The only other essential trip is for c**v nourishment at McDonalds – the mecca of C***s worldwide. C**v lads who aren’t old enough to be rattling the doors of Welwyn Garden’s best take away with their homemade basebin soundsystems from their chavmobiles, take to the roof of the multistorey car park where spitting onto the roof of cars going through the underpass below proves who who is the hardest c**v of the week. Welwyn Garden c***s are so low market they scrimp on school shoes from Freeman Hardy and Willis so they can afford nice white Addidas trainers to “hang in”. A Welwyn Garden feemale c**v’s ultimate aim is to get pregnant whilst still in the 3rd year at school, have an abortion and 6 months off school, before repeating the year again. C**v male aspires to get a job in the Sainsbury’s supermarket stacking shelves – though of course few of them make it to a full time job once “Her Magesty” takes an interest in some of their nocturnal house visits to fund their obscene petrol bills from doing donuts around the station car park.