I used to visit Welwyn Garden City (or should that be Welwyn Garden Sh*ty) all the time, when I lived in Stevenage. People tell me that WGC isn’t all that bad but that’s not true… at least in Stevenage the idiot ***** only shout out stuff at you when you’re half way down the road, where as in WGC they throw stones at you or those tiny McDonalds milk cartons. So let me give you a tour of WGC. There’s the Howard Centre. Thats the crappy little shopping mall near the train station. A great place to walk past at night, if you like to be bothered by a load of bored drunken pissed off *****. Then there’s the Peartree clan. They’re the ones that hang around that Kwiki Mart place. you know one stop. They’re mainly kids that bother you to get them some fags or booze. If you don’t do it, they hurl abuse at you.
Then you’ve got the Woodhall lot. They can be found either hanging around where the community centre is or the parade (shops). Next to the Woodhall there are two pubs, The Peartree and The Chieftain. The Peartree is a very strangely mixed pub, you have your old people people playing cards then there’s your 30 year old yobs with the IQ OF 50, either smoking pot outside in the car park or taking the piss out of some poor soul at the bar. You have the townies playing pool, talking about how great they are and how much the ladies love them. Then there’s the village idiots dribbling in to their pints laughing and pointing at folk. As for The Chieftain or what it should be called, The Chavton, that’s where the older ***** hang out. Don’t go in there, they hate anyone that’s not a regular. Enter at your own risk.