Wavertree, Liverpool: in recent years its gone down the pisser

Living in Wavertree, Liverpool

Wavertree. A district of two halves, depending on whether you live near Smithdown Road or Picton Road, that is split down the middle by Lawrence road, a sort of melting pot for lots of people that don’t to speak english, and have no desire to learn to.

Having spent the last thirty years in Wavertree i’ve seen it change a lot over the years.

As said in the opening paragraph, it depends which main road you live near as to what experience you have. Smithdown Road is primarily student town, with pretty much every single house on the terraced streets being owned and let by some mysterious group of shady unseen private landlords. There’s the ASDA that’s great for groceries, but then having seen other Asdas down south, ours looks really dated and is quite small.

How grim is your Postcode?

Like most main roads in Liverpool, there are about a million different takeaways, stretching from neighbouring Allerton right up to Upper Parliment Street on the outskirts of town. If i’m around Smithdown Road, i’ll pop into The Dispensary, an alright pub that harks back to the Cain’s Brewery days. DO NOT visit The Brookhouse!!! Scally central. In the mid noughties, this was a pretty good place to go. It then became one of them franchised “Scream” bars that all students frequent. Again, wasn’t that bad really.. Its only in recent years that its gone down the pisser.. Fighting, drugs, scallies.. Thats just the bouncers.

Honestly, if it “screams” anything its STI’s. It’s got that bad. The 18 year old students throwing up outside will tell you different though. Its their warm up base before blasting a taxi into town.

The second part of Wavertree surrounds Picton Road, the other main artery that passes through. This is polar opposite to Smithdown road, and this is where we real Wavertorians (made up word) live. Sh*thole. Literally.

You can’t walk for a metre without stepping over, around or in dog ****. It’s everywhere. I swear i’ve seen human sh*t “Under the bridge” too. I honestly don’t know where it comes from.

Having grown up here, i’ve seen it change a lot. Currently this part of Wavertree is crammed with the Poles and Russians. The Poles as always tend to work their arses off. The others have just brought their sh*t Eastern block techno and gang culture. Add to the mix a lot of retired house-proud types that try their best to wash the sh*t from the paving stone outside their house, you can foresee whom will move in when they die, and a private landlord buys the house. Yup, you guessed it.

Two other things strike me about this part of Wavertree. There isn’t a single paving stone that hasn’t been split in half. Also, Wavertree has about 120,000 speed bumps that f*ck up everyones suspension and exhausts. The only people that these speed bumps don’t annoy are the people racing other peoples cars up and down. These are usually private hire taxi drivers that use streets such as MacDonald street as some sort of cut through to the other side of wavertree. The police also do the same. Not a single wing mirror is safe in this part of town. The streets are narrow and they get knock off all the time by speeding cars.

Wavertree High Street has lots of lovely shop windows for you to look inside of when you’re walking down it. Thats what i tell myself anyway. Every shop front is shuttered up most of the time. Because scouse kids have an obsession with breaking windows. It’s f*cking miserable. Apart from the odd hairdressers, the High Street is just a long line of **** takeaways and old boozers that have seen better days. If you want a pub crawl and cant be bothered paying the high price to get on the 79 bus into town, you could always start at The Wellington and stop at every pub along the way up until the Coffee House, being bored along the way by old fellas telling you about the good ol days, football, or the horses. They will probably try and get you involved in rounds too, but never seem to buy one themselves.

I will say though, The Coffee house is lovely. Its changed hands a few times in the last ten years. Its okay now, but it was at its best before the last takeover. It has a lovely beer garden and bowls green, but this has gone to sh*t recently. Just buy a lawn mower! Also, The **** n Bottle. Great place but a pub of two halves that’s full of ***** wielding bottles round the back (scallie central, coke in the toilets, knife in the back) The front half is always a good laugh with live music and banter. Just beware the drunk ladies dancing around. I’ve only been dragged into one massive brawl here.. So not too bad.

There are also a few parks dotted around like the Technology Park on Picton Road, and Sefton Park is near Smithdown Road. That’s about it really. I would say if you’re on a bus that passes through Wavetree, just stay on and pass through., but that could be the 79 and heading towards Bellevale, in which case get off and head back to town. It could also be the 86 or the 82 Heading out towards Speke. Again get off and head back to town.