Warrington- Cross Breed Central of the UK

CheshireNorth West

I suppose the first thing to look at when considering the Chav towns is location. And MY GOD i think Warrington could have THE CHAVVIEST location in the whole of the UK, maybe even the world!!! For the humble Warratonian finds themselves Aqui distance between Liverpool and Manchester!!! Or Liverpeeewl and Manches-tor, as the locals would have you believe. The consequences of such a geographical position are huge, the inevitable overspill from each city means that we now are experiencing a crossbreed!!!! MUTANTS!!!
These Mutant Chavs are super human, they can steal, breed, and “knock you the f*ck out” in lightening speed that the less superior chav from can only dream about. I personally knew a chav back when i was a wee bairn who we shall call “Tommo” he lived on an estate that was “rougher than a bears arse” called Grassmere. He impregnated 6 women and girls within 5 months, his unprotected reign of horror ending only when he was invited to take a long holiday at her majestys expense -and all this at the tender age of 17 years old. His “tag” still proudly adourns many a bustop and steel shutter of the local chippy.
The Warrington chav enjoys many different night time hang out spots, depending on age range, disposable income etc… The younger chavs who havent yet resorted to profitable crime and therefore find themselves financially able to stretch only to a 1 litre bottle of White lightening and 10 Mayfair (shared between 3 of course) enjoy the completely free pastime of making Warringtons parks, shop entrances and bustops a no go area. A friend of mine was recently surrounded by a gang of chavs while waiting for a bus in “downtown” Orford. The main chav the stepped forward with a small but cocky looking chav who turned out to be main chavs “bruvvor”.
Main Chav: “Hit ma bruvvor in the face”
My friend: “Erm..no?”
Main Chav: “Hit him or Ill f*ckin Tw*t ya”
My Friend Cleverly sees this is a trick so throws caution to the wind punches the mini chav and is promptly set upon by 7 or 8 chavvers.
The older chavs who by now have realised that crime is not just an enjoyable hobby but also a source of income can now afford to travel into town on a saturday night and frequent many cattle markets down the main street, slowly but surely making his or her way to the chav mecca the infamous “Mr Smiths” A night club of epic proportians, made famouse by cheesey 80s TV show, Hitman and Her. Its always a guaranteed “quality” night out, where chavs “dance” between bottling and biting each other, and always get lucky in the bushes outside as long as the chavette does not stir from her WKD induced stupor.