CheshireNorth West

callands is the chav corridor between snakey valley park and old hall, since the chav has arrived, since the chav plague has arrived are woods have been littered with used rubbers, sexually transmitted desieses have risen 25% and empty 2 litre bottle which contents of cider have been consumed.

callands is a small area in warrington located 20 minites from the town centre, callands is a long road that connects sankey valley to old hall,

callands is a chav hotspot as near the chavs only source of food in the area, a small chips shop, is a pub, a conershop spar, and the chavs natural habbitat a wood, many a time can you see groups, often consisting of 6 males chavs accompanied by there single collective mating partner, attemp to walk with bags full of cider and fags into the wood.

those who are brave enough to walk through the wood often see the alpha male humping the chavette whilst the others secure the perimiter by marking the territory, once the alpha male has finished the other males take turns to plesure her.

if the brove soul is spotted the chavs ofter hammer there cest with there fist and bang the ground to scare off the potencial threat, if not successfull, the chavs charge the invader brandishing small ‘swiss
army knife (stolen from the local pound store). but often never reach the attacker as there smoking leaves them breathless after a few hundered feet.

after nightfall the chavs leave the woods and take to the local park, there they take turns to try jump of and ever faster spinning round about.
for any pedestrians wandering home have to be wery about his spot as it is the main spot in which chavs ambush them,

when it gets to about 2.00am the chavs retire back to dallam on there way spray painting ‘calands sukz’ were ever there is a large enough space to, the irony that the chavs spend most there time in the callands streets,

often groups of angry moshers venture into ‘chav territory’ to get revenge for previous events, the chavs confront the offence in there standard battle gear, lacoste track-suit (with the pants tucked into there socks so you cant see when they s**t themselfs) burberry cap, and hollow silver shains rapped round there fist, some brandishing small pocket knife as metioned earlier, the fights often last until the local police are called.

numbers of people who will stand up to the chavs are dwindling as no human could compete to the sub human species reproduction rate the same rate as rabbits, yet have the build of gorrillas,

the chav is highly agressive due to an enlonged medula ablonganta, induced throught the large consumption of maccies and chip butties and through drug abuse. they have no morallity as they will attack any none chavette female,

inconclusion we need to rid ourselfs of this sub-human plague

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