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When me and my friends were about 10 we used to hang around in Warminster because we lived there but soon we realised it was a bit rubbish and went into the surrounding cities like Salisbury and Bath. I think the last time we actually stayed in the town centre for over 3 hours was last summer. Anyway, I must have missed something in the last 12 months because EVERYONE IN THERE HAS TURNED INTO A F*****G CHAV!!!!!!

Chavs can be seen in many a place in Warminster. Most of them stay in the centre of the Three Horseshoes Mall shagging their girlfriend/sister until late and breaking things. Another place they like to stay in is the little area for skateboards in the town park (I still dont understand exactly WHY they like it there, THEY DONT BELONG!). Sometimes they will come out at night and stay in Safeways car park getting drunk on cheap alcohol and showing of on their stolen BMX’s or they will go to John Barleycorns for a game of pool(because its free and they are too p***y to pay for a membership to the non-chav Wessex Club). I have only been to “JB’s” once and it resulted in getting punched in the face 4 times because me and my friends didnt go to the local school.

The car of choice for a Warminster chav is usually a beat up old Citroen or Peugeot which is usually red, white or that horrible two-tone colour chavs put on their cars. Once one of the chav gang gets a car they spend the day “Cruisin’ rown’ town” listening to “Muzik wiv lotsa bass”. However what these people dont realise is that Warminster is too small to do this and you will see them go round the same spot at least 3 times in their car before they realise they look like complete w*****s and go back to their parents house.

Spotting a Warminster chav is very easy indeed. Their skin is usually orange, green/brown or red and they wear a baseball cap. The hat MUST be red or maybe even yellow! They will have their head shaved under the hat and if they dont wear a hat then they have their hair spiked and its bleached at the top. Older chavs will have an eyebrow piercing and a tatto on their arm of some pattern that doesnt make sense. ALL chavs must walk around with a scowl as well. Clothing is bought from Warminster’s leading 2 fashion outlets-Peacocks and BHS which are next to each other and their trainers will be Adidas rip-offs. These chavs will live in Warminster until they die working pointless jobs in Safeways whilst those with sense will move out of “Wankminster” and laugh their arses off at those who were once considered superior to them.







Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018