East Anglia   |    Herefordshire   |  

Where is Ware? Just the wrong side of the A10 from Hertford. A world away from the gentle, relaxed county town of the shire, devoid of serious Chav infestation, Ware is the regional Chav capital of East Herts, second only perhaps to Bishops Stortford (two-headed Chav breeding centre, which in it’s defence is far too close to the border with Essex). Perhaps a visit to Ware inspired Chav lyricist Mike Skinner aka The Streets to write “Cos Tony’s got a new motor, SR Nova driving like a joyrider, Speeding to the corner
Yer mother warned yer to sound system banger ”

See http://www.wareonline.co.uk/ for more.

Despite having a pretty High Street, Ware is plagued with chavscum ‘cruising’ in their p*ss poor Vauxhall Novas with drilled exhausts, although one of their breed has stolen enough to afford a Peugeot 106 with all the bodywork and a drilled exhaust, so now it goes slower and wastes more fuel (which our brainless chav will put down to ‘increased performance’).

Always up for a fight, a generation of chavlets have grown into a strata of pseudo-hooligans who populate the waterside bars and pubs on Friday and Saturday nights, wearing the regulation Ben Sherman uniform. Some of them even pretend to be part of a Chelsea/Gunners/Spurs ‘firm’ (who have never been to a match and don’t even and have never LIVED in LONDON), wrongly believing that it increases their importance in an otherwise irrelevant town hierarchy. These idiots are always up for a fight and the local Police regularly haul in a smattering of them whom you can regularly observe smoking (but not inhaling) a Silk Cut Ultra Low outside the Magistrates Court in Hertford during the week.

A highlight for chav-spotters visiting Ware is the total flop of a nightclub called ‘Sky’ on Amwell End. In an attempt to appeal to the more affluent residents of East Herts, ‘Sky’ was opened with an exclusive door policy. (I think Jodie Marsh was there for 5 minutes once, before even she realised it was sh*te). Soon enough the management realised that Ware was infested with chavs and anyone worth their salt went elsewhere to avoid becoming infected with the C.H.A.V. virus (have you seen the film 28 Days Later? It only takes one exposure and you’re history). ‘Sky’ is in the direct sight-line of the chav corralling point of the bridge over the river Lea and bisects the distance between the bridge and Ware train station, another favourite chav focus of amusement. They had no hope and now it’s open to all. Bye bye exclusivity and hello 15 year old chav gaol bait.

Incidentally, Ware station is near the Hertford Regional College, where aspiring chavettes from Ware and the surrounding area go to learn hairdressing after finishing (Ha! As if!) GCSE’s. If late night-spotting isn’t your thing, then school (because it’s only a college by name) hometime at the bus stops on Hertford Road is for you, where the jobless teen chavs wait for their chavette breeding partners. You might even get mugged by a group of visiting teens from Broxbourne, if you’re lucky enough to have the full chav experience. You will also see MOT failure quality Novas and And Fiestas at this time.

Also pay a visit to Church Street (Tesco’s car park!) and West Street and the openspace between where you might be lucky enough to see Jimmychav showing off with his new motorised miniscooter, while the rest of the scum share a can of wifebeater and abuse the peaceful elderly members of the community who fought so hard in WW2 for this country’s (and their) freedom.

Jimmychav is, of course, aspiring to a ‘proper’ scooter, so he can join the three amigos, one on a 50cc motocross motorbike and the other two on scooters who race up and down Amwell End, Hertford Road and the High Street. They are the next generation of Nova pilots. Watch out for these up and coming superidiots.

I noted a post on this site about Hertford, but in it’s defence, it’s only affected by the visiting chavs from Ware (accessed from Ware railway station – don’t forget your season ticket to the City pays for their free ride) and it’s own primordial swamp of Sele Farm. Otherwise, it’s a quite nice place to visit. Cheers!

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018

    East Anglia   |    Herefordshire   |  

From a sweet little town where I grew up, Ware has become a sort of hiding place for the chavs getting ready to invade other local towns. During the day the only evidence of the chav infestation is the occasional broken bottle/windscreen around the highstreet (and the newly arrived “townies out” graffiti) but it is around 8:30 that the locals have to retreat into their homes and wait for the danger to pass.

Slowly the high street, home of many, many pubs, gets filled with a steady stream of chavs, all heading towards Hertford. Some peel off into threshers to pick up handy bottles of white lightning or into the Punch House or Waterfront to attempt to get a head start on their mates. Most of the crowd however, are flowing towards the train station, ready to sneak onto the train to Hertford East without a ticket and mock any tired commuters unlucky enough to still be in the carriage. Gradually the stragglers (who by now have been encouraged to leave the pubs due to their inability to piss in the right direction) follow their friends and the streets become relatively safe.

…until 11:30 when they all come back again.

Unable to grasp the fact that it is not incredibly funny to have puke running down ones chin, the chavs decide to entertain themselves further by making that pretty little smashing noise which follows the breaking of glass bottles, windows and bones. Eventually once that activity has lost its charm, the chav (and newly pulled chavettes) stagger back to the estate to sleep off the snakebites and pick up their benefits the next day.

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018