Upper Hopton, Mirfield

Mirfield is pretty ******, doing very well (?)
in the first **** Towns book – not bad for a town of its size . Despite its proximity to the M1 and the M62 – which has made every other town in the region a little goldmine (except Bradford, of course ) – Mirfield still has to attract businesses and shoppers, possibly because the only shops are LiDL, Netto, and the Co-op – wheras neighbouring Huddersfield ( rather more affluent ) has TWO Sainsburys, a Marks and Spencers, Tesco , Asda; and the rest of the shops aren’t charity shops, like they are in Mirfield.

Therefore, anyone with money goes to Huddersfield – and everyone else stays in Mirfield (although I don’t think anyone comes to Mirfield from anywhere else). Mirfield is brilliant for ***** – you dont need to try to spot them , the difficulty is spotting people who aren’t *****. There’s a brilliant chippy called Wi’bits ( which means chips come with bits -the bits which in other towns are thrown in the bin, but which in Mirfield are part of the little kids main diet.)

Some people think there are so many ***** in Mirfield because it is situated between a huge chemical works and an equally huge sewage works – so their brains may have been poisened at birth. However I think the problem may date back much longer than this.

How grim is your Postcode?

There is a street in Mirfield called Cheviot ( Chaviot?) Way and I would be really pleased if someone would take a camera there to record their beautiful christmas all singing all illuminated decorations – definately the most ****** sight anywhere this winter . The people there are generally getting on a bit – could this be the original site of ***** in the UK ? the good news is that the good folks of Chaviot Way seem ok – so perhaps in 30 years time Mirfield will be free of the curse of ***** – in the meantime , someone, please, take a camera to cheviot Way.

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