Typical Coventry Day Out…

Having recently relocated to Coventry, one recent Saturday I made my way into town to have a look round. After negotiating my way through the maze of depressingly dark ugly streets, housing hoards of miserable greasy looking foul mouthed occupants, I arrived at the car park. I was greeted by a particuarly ****** looking girl with a tracksuit-clad ridiculous looking boyfriend, who informed me that I should ‘watch where I was ******’ goin’ or I’d get my ******’ head smashed in’ (they were purposefully driving their lowered bright green old battered Golf the wrong way down a one way section of the car park). Amused, I ventured into the city centre where it seemed that the ***** had been breeding! Coventry seems to have embraced **** culture, and offers an array of shops selling **** attire – from cheap plastic knee-highs to Henry Lloyd stripy jumpers and wide selections of 9ct gold hoops/sovereigns.

At night, the Coventry experience is one not to be missed. Overwight, over made up bleached blondes wearing skimpy, cheap white skirts with pink tops linger in groups – competing for the attention of loud ****** looking groups of males, whose only attempt at conversation seems to be ‘where you goin’ lata’. Joy. I’d definatly recommend though if you need a good laugh.

How grim is your Postcode?