Trowbridge is a small town of narrow minded conservatives who think that they are liberals. It is basically in the middle of no-where and thus the residents have to work hard to find entertainment.
The majority of residents are ***** (or ‘townies’ as they are sometimes know). Of course, there are some people who are not *****, but most decent people moved out years ago – like I plan to when I have finished 6th form.
A tour of Trowbridge…
Welcome to my **** town. Where shall I start? I could start with the disgusting state of the town centre or the gormat resteraunt for the townie – McDonalds (or as young ***** call it, MaccyD’s). No, I shall start with Fore Street. Fore Street has some quite nice historic buildings, but alas, anything of note has been totally destroyed by **** 20 somethings looking for a bit of entertainment on a Saturday night when the doorman at the nightclub refuses to let them in. Quite often, you will find that someone has urinated in the already litter flowerbeds (or should that be bottle-beds?) because they can’t get into the park toilets because they are locked at night since the second week they were first open due to many ***** getting drunk at Weatherspoons and then mistaking the toilets for their house.
In an ally off Fore Street, you will find the sacred home of the cheapskate ****. Now not everyone who goes to Bargain Box is a ****, since some of their stuff is quite good value, but many ***** also use the store. Every Saturday afternoon, you will find fourteen year old mums pushing their screaming toddler with the help of totally stoned Gran. These teenage mums purchase tawdy toys that most kids wouldn’t be seen dead with. After this the teenage mums (complete with screaming toddler and stoned out Gran) head down to the market to purchase some more Burberry for their ever growing collection.
After this, the ‘happy’ family head down to McDonalds for lunch and then to the park for a quick ***.
Ah, all in a day’s work for a **** in Trowbridge!
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