TELFORD – Yet Again!

ShropshireWest Midlands

Another well scary trip to Telford, (the only safest place is Waterstones I find, as Chavs are illiterate). I park my car in Brown Elm car park, (next to the DIY superstore) and walk towards the shopping malls…BUT first, you have to pass the s**t-hole known as Spencer’s Arcade, a nasty little indoor market type of place where Chavs of all ages hang out, especially in the Salmonella Cafe situated at the rear of this place. They congregate there like packs of skunks, stinking of their knock off perfume and aftershave and smoking Lambert & Butlers – the true Chav fag! They all sit there supping greasy tea/coffee, whilst they pump their mini-chavs full of slush puppy, or the cafe’s own concoction of chemically enhanced kids orange squash. You see them eating warmed up sausage rolls that the rats have been nibbling at, yet no-one has blabbed to the environmental health officer so far…though Telford & Wrekin Council are too freaked out to visit is more like it! If the, “Caff” is full of Chavs, and believe me, it usually is, then they go just inside the main mall to Greggs and purchase their junk food from there, and then go to Asda to stock up on lard.
Anyway, Spencer’s Arcade has a vacant shop front I noticed, with signs in the window stating that, “Bongs R Us” will be trading from there shortly…which will, of course, become another Chav hang out to add to all the others.
These other places include Argos, Index, H.Samuel’s jewellers, and Hinds jewellers. Chavs can be seen in Primark, Poundland and also in Asda, where Chav families have major slanging matches and are seen walloping their kids in full view of the general public. Take a look in their trollies and you will find a vast array of pizzas, frozen chips, smart price crisps,cakes,biscuits and other junk – not forgetting the lard, a vital constituent of the Chav diet.
No wonder they’re all on benefits of one kind or another, the lardy lifestyle/diet means sick notes for ever more, and if they play their cards right, a triple heart by-pass, and an electric scooter to whizz up and down the malls on. All this, and they’re only in their late 30’s! They may even get a Blue Badge for their Novas.
Great life eh?!…Dry yer eyes mate…

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