The Rhondda Fach – the valley that time forgot

Living in The Rhondda Fach

Due to the lack of a bypass (which they just couldn’t be f**ked to build past Pontygwaith), you’ve probably never visited or even driven through the upper Rhondda Fach. Of this fact, you should be grateful. This area comprises of a number of **** invested, impoverished sh**holes built around the coal mines (of course nowadays, […]

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Falcon Lodge, Sutton Coldfield: If Aids & Ebola had a baby

Living in Falcon Lodge, Sutton Coldfield

I have lived all around the country and have never and i mean NEVER witnessed anywhere like this where the f*ckery and debauchery are on an unknown level, for instance i have seen people snorting whiskey/vodka (even dropping whiskey into an open eye in the name of getting high). The women parade their babies around […]

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Southend-on-Sea, the **** of Essex

Living in Southend-on-sea

Southend is surely the worst place to live in England. The town is full of 12 year old ‘roadmen’ (the **** does not exist down here now) who walk up and down town with their weed smoking, drug-dealing older brothers finding the nearest respectable looking person to shout at. As they get older they have […]

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Huddersfield, not such a ‘brilliant’ place to live!

Living in Huddersfield

Welcome all readers. This is my article on Huddersfield. I will be explaining to you why Huddersfield is an absolute **** hole. Lets begin, shall we? I’ve lived in Huddersfield for a long time. I grew up here, watching it disintegrate into nothing but a pile of sh*t. The town centre is far by the […]

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Nantwich – The Great Crewe/Nantwich Divide

Living in Nantwich

The subject of Nantwich’s integrity has been called up many times over the last decade. This is a place where the Lords and Ladies of Aston, the Barony of Acton and the Magisters of Wybunbury have long considered to be the most ‘urban’ destination that they are willing to drag little Jonty and Elisabet(no H) […]

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Fareham: the shallowest genepool in Hampshire

Living in Fareham, Hampshire

I have lived in Fareham my whole life, but it wasn’t until I was about 16 that I realised why there were so many buck-toothed-cross-eyed-*****. Answer is that they are **********. To be fair it’s not their fault, see back in the 80’s people were having a lot of one night stands resulting in unplanned […]

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Wood Farm Estate, Oxford: is Horrible – Don’t go There

Living in the Wood Farm Estate, Oxford

The whole place is a tip. There are no two ways about it. The shops are run down and are full of shopkeepers who don’t even appear the slightest bit interested in you. When I went into the Co-Op, the guy behind the desk was on ‘RateMyTurban.com’ for a good 20 seconds, before he noticed […]

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Sutton-in-Ashfield: avoid eye contact and you’ll be just fine

Living in Sutton-in-Ashfield

I’m not saying that Sutton in Ashfield is a bad place to live. It could be much worse, like Kirkby in Ashfield. Basically if the name of the town you are in is followed by “in Ashfield” you have stumbled into the district that time forgot and where good taste never existed. The locals aren’t […]

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Sheerness: where hopes, dreams and junkies go to die

Living in Sheerness

Sheerness is the end of the line… literally. The end of a small branch line from Sittingbourne to the Isle of Dirt. A sticky-floored tube train that smells of stale piss, Stella Artois, Amber Leaf and misanthropy. If you don’t have a car and you want to get out of the place back to the […]

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Bolton is a dump

Living in Bolton

Bolton itself is a dump. The best businesses are leaving or have left. Pound shops and cheap takeaways are everywhere. Some of the takeaways have reached the lofty heights of ONE star for hygiene. The usual benefits ********** are to be found pushing expensive prams while speaking their own language, which could be one of […]

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Blackbird Leys, Oxford is a Haven for the Underclass

Living in Blackbird Leys, Oxford

This is my views on Blackbird Leys in Oxford. I went here once on a Tuesday afternoon in 2014 to see what it was like. Never again. I felt sick when walking around and would rather move to Uzbekistan than spend more than 10 minutes in this dump. The Estate is beyond repair and is […]

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Loughborough – Bells and Bell-Ends

Living in Loughborough

I live here, “me duck”. Loughborough (luff-brə, population 60,000) is a former industrial area, close to the Nottinghamshire border in the East Midlands within the Charnwood borough of Leicestershire, England. Loughborough people are very special, with very special needs. Famous for its bald and angry amateur bodybuilding boxers (that’s just the women), Loughborough is where […]

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